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We don’t sell the zzz Orgasmatron Special Offer (Usually £16.95) anymore, sorry!

We've suggested some alternatives below you might like:

We did once and we had fun. But we've moved on. These things happen. We've suggested some alternatives below you might like:

Product info

Due to exceptionally high demand for this offer, despatch of your order may be delayed by 24 hours.

We come across all kinds of things during the noble pursuit of 'product development'. Much of it is nonsense, discarded after five minutes either because it breaks or because what it claims to do is actually a Trades Description Act-infringingly million miles away from what it actually does. And being honest, we thought that the Orgasmatron would end up on the discard heap.

Which only goes to prove how wrong you can be. Obviously, the sleazy name was seriously off-putting in the first instance, but once the Orgasmatron had worked its magic on our collective heads, all was forgiven. Its eight, round-ended copper arms certainly seem to work magic once they're lowered onto your scalp and then gently worked around the back of your head and neck. Get someone else to do it to you, since that - as is the case with lots of things - is the best way.

The effect is tremendous - it sets off waves of the deeply pleasant shivering sensation you get when 'someone walks over your grave' (you know, the random shake that can strike at any time). Only here it's prolonged and extremely relaxing. It won't actually result in any climactic activity, but you can clearly see exactly where the makers were coming from (fnar fnar) when they named this unique and very satisfying massage implement. Recommended strongly - one kept in the top drawer for a bit of afternoon delight in the office.

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Product info

Due to exceptionally high demand for this offer, despatch of your order may be delayed by 24 hours.

We come across all kinds of things during the noble pursuit of 'product development'. Much of it is nonsense, discarded after five minutes either because it breaks or because what it claims to do is actually a Trades Description Act-infringingly million miles away from what it actually does. And being honest, we thought that the Orgasmatron would end up on the discard heap.

Which only goes to prove how wrong you can be. Obviously, the sleazy name was seriously off-putting in the first instance, but once the Orgasmatron had worked its magic on our collective heads, all was forgiven. Its eight, round-ended copper arms certainly seem to work magic once they're lowered onto your scalp and then gently worked around the back of your head and neck. Get someone else to do it to you, since that - as is the case with lots of things - is the best way.

The effect is tremendous - it sets off waves of the deeply pleasant shivering sensation you get when 'someone walks over your grave' (you know, the random shake that can strike at any time). Only here it's prolonged and extremely relaxing. It won't actually result in any climactic activity, but you can clearly see exactly where the makers were coming from (fnar fnar) when they named this unique and very satisfying massage implement. Recommended strongly - one kept in the top drawer for a bit of afternoon delight in the office.