The Stranger Things Gift Guide

Ellie Weston – 4th Jul 2019

After what feels like forever, Stranger Things season 3 is FINALLY here! After all the drama and fear and ectoplasm the cast have been through so far, we reckon they deserve a gift or two for their strife. Here’s how we would make their day:

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Eleven

She may have been timid, but she's really come into her own these days. Okay, perhaps timid is the understatement of the century - she had severe claustrophobia and PTSD and was completely deprived of socialisation. Tough break.

Now she's got a little bit of sass to her, with an expanded vocabulary and a chic new bob. Hopefully she’s still just as kind and loyal as she was before, we all know what teenagers can be like!

One thing is sure to have remained the same, though: a love of using telekinesis to mess about with cans. She could decant the drink out of this beautiful specimen and crush the can with her mind - then neck the energy juice afterwards to get her back to fighting fit. Telekinesis must be knackering.

Mike

Determined optimist Mike is a loyal friend and experienced Dungeon Master, as evidenced by his persistence in finding Will to trying to contact a disintegrated Eleven for 353 consecutive days until they were reunited. Aww. What a lovely guy!

He’s a dab hand at strategizing and loves a good game - we reckon he would be a dab hand at chess. But a regular boring old chess set would be dull to anyone, let alone a 13 year old boy. This Super Mario version should hold his interest.

Dustin

Lovely Dustin is often stuck playing support and peacekeeper to his mates but he's not afraid to get stuck into the action either, whether that means helping Steve with a monster hunt or leading his pals into the Upside Down to distract the Demodogs and protect Hopper and Eleven. He's even nice to animals, sparing polliwog Dart who would eventually grow up to eat a cat. What a nice guy.

He deserves a memory of poor ol’ Dart, the pet he just couldn’t keep. We reckon he’d love one of our Pet Mushions, a personalised, squishy cushion featuring his favourite little monster’s face.

Lucas

When everyone else wanted to go and investigate a mysterious laboratory and risk their lives, Lucas just wanted to finish their Dungeons & Dragons campaign. Rightly so, some might say. You don’t spend ages setting up an intricate plot only to drop it because there’s a spooky hole in the ground in the woods!

We would get him some new board games to try and entice his mates back to their old favourite hobby before monster hunting and friend rescuing came on the scene. Our personal choice would be Exploding Kittens, but he would probably have fun with any of this lot.

Will

Poor Will, he definitely deserves a little gift after all he's been through - y’know, the whole ‘getting bullied then getting trapped in the Upside Down and being possessed and having his mind completely taken over until he was exorcised’ thing? And through it all, he’s still a kind and sweet kid. On second thought, make that a big gift.

Like this digital art frame he could use to display his latest masterpiece. His drawings saved the day and served as a map when the Byers’ house was taken over by mad branches of evil, now they can just be admired like the works of art they are.

All the stress and trauma he's been through would also make a fantastic graphic novel - maybe he would benefit from channelling some of that PTSD into getting it all down in comic form?

Max

We don’t know all that much about Max, but we do know this quick-thinking tomboy is amazing at video games. She managed to destroy Dustin's highscore on Dig Dug in season 2 under the name MADMAX, much to the boys’ frustration. If she’s that good at a clunky arcade game, think how good she would be at proper video games?!

This poster should keep her busy for a while as she plays through 100 of the best games of all time. Just ignore the fact that some of them hadn’t been released yet. Most of them, even. Shhh.

Nancy

At the intersection of girly and badass lies Nancy Wheeler, kid-protecting baseball-bat-wielding frilly-shirt-loving older brother to Mike.

She went from studious to curious real quick when Barb went missing, but there comes a time when the monsters are back where they belong and Harvard is waiting on your application. Perhaps she’d appreciate a fun, sassy desk plate to get her back on track with her studies after all the drama?

She may be handy with that baseball bat but there isn’t always going to be such a perfect weapon just lying around waiting to be convenient. We think she would make fantastic use of this umbrella. It’s cute, first of all, but it also doubles as something sharp and hard to swing at any monsters that she may come across in season 3 - and it even lights up so she can see where she’s going should she find herself venturing into the upside down again. Perfect.

Jonathan

When he's not exposing the Hawkins National Laboratory as being responsible for freeing the beasts of the Upside Down and the disappearance of his little brother, he's... taking photos of Nancy through her bedroom window.

Bit weird, but at least he got his comeuppance when Steve broke his camera - hopefully he won’t be doing that again! Let’s hope so for Nancy’s sake, since he chose him over Steve. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and give him a new camera. He’s too talented to let all those skills go to waste. We reckon the Polaroid camera would go down well with this sullen boy next door - let’s just hope he doesn’t ask what Stranger Things is or things are going to get seriously meta.

Steve

Cool customer Steve loves a good look in the mirror. Can’t say we blame him, we’d be glued to any reflective surface if we had hair that majestic. We suggest he indulge in a bit of good ol’ fashioned skincare to keep that beautiful face on top form - these face masks may be a bit girly for him, but he seems like a man who’s not afraid of his feminine side. At least when nobody else is around.

To insure he looks good from head to toe, he ought to suit up in a pair of these. Keeping your kicks fresh may not be first priority in the Upside Down, but nobody wants to die with dirty sneakers on their feet.

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For everyone else, there’s our trusty Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle. Bask in their confusion as they ponder why on earth you’ve given them a ceramic bust of that weird bald kid who lives nearby.