Disclaimer: none of the things listed here are ‘just’ for women. These gifts are for everyone. Honestly, gifts probably shouldn’t be gendered. But a lot of people like to search for gifts based on the person’s sex, so we thought we’d make it easier for them to find what they’re after. Check out our (blessedly gender neutral) Valentine’s page here if this page ain’t doin’ it for ya.
Be honest, she’s put up with a lot of your shit, hasn’t she? From the generic (toilet seat up, anyone?) to the more modern (your habit of liking every single one of Emily Ratajkowski’s Instagram pics and occasionally even commenting ‘wow ’on them as if that will prompt her to ask Joe, 24, a bartender from Surrey, if he’s up for a Frankie & Benny’s next Tuesday), she’s had more than a fair share of your nonsense.
A bit of chocolate is the least she deserves.
But this isn’t any old chocolate. This is pink, shimmery, strawberries and cream white chocolate. Decadent, indulgent, and delicious enough to make her forget any little past mistakes you might have made once or twice or repeatedly since you first met her.
Oh, and it literally says Thanks For Putting Up With My Shit on it, so your heartfelt original message won’t get lost. Idiotproof.
Even the edgiest of tomboys loves a bit of pink now and again. How can anyone not? It’s such a fun, happy colour. Ditto that for glitter. Sometimes you just have to indulge your girly side. That goes for you too, lads. Ain’t nothing wrong with pretty drinks.
This gin liqueur is magical enough to impress anyone. Infuse all of her cocktails with sweet raspberries, tart juniper berries and delicate whispers of sour citrus - and, of course, a lashing of stunning iridescence.
This stuff shimmers like nobody’s business. Give the bottle (or your glass) a swirl to awaken a tidal wave of mesmerising edible glitter. Because cocktails ought to be fun. If you’re too good for pink sparkle then p*ss off and have a Guinness.
Hot chocolate out of a plastic jar from the shops? Heavens, no. She’s your GIRLFRIEND. It’s VALENTINE’S DAY. In case you haven’t noticed, it’s still bloody freezing out and she deserves a big treat.
Making her day needn’t cost the world - as evidenced by these cute little hot chocolate bombes. Perhaps an aggressive name for something so sweet, but these things truly do unleash cocoa carnage on your unsuspecting hot milk when dropped in.
Each one of these chocolate spheres is filled with dozens of mini marshmallows, giving you the perfect hot chocolate without the faff. And no powdered nasties, just pure, proper choc. That’s the ticket.
More bombs?! Well, we’re waging war on boring Valentine’s day gifts so, despite being pacifists, we’ve had to get militant. Coming soon: Spreadable Gun, Novi-chocs.
These are an entirely different proposition though. By far the most decadent thing you can get her for under a tenner, this set of 10 bougie bath bombs provides 10 glittery, shimmery, prosecco-scented baths. 10 micro spa days. 10 tubs full of gold fizz, saturated with delicate shimmer and nourishing naturals to hydrate and soothe.
It’s a small price to pay for a glowing, well moisturised, relaxed girlfriend.
We don't know her, but we're willing to bet the photos on your girlfriend's phone are incredibly disorganised. Like, thousands of photos completely uncategorised. A tangled wilderness of forgotten JPGs. Most of them will be takes too inferior for the ‘gram that should have been deleted, but she hasn’t been (and will never be) arsed to delete them.
This smartphone printer will change her life - and present her with physical Polaroid versions of all of her favourite phone pics to keep safe from the day she inevitably gets a new phone and doesn’t back up any of those beloved memories. All she'll need for endless Polaroids is her smartphone and a pack of film. No WiFi, app, batteries, or cables required! It’s downright magical. Vintage looks without the expensive, annoying vintage tech? We like the sound of that.
Unless you two are some sort of swinging hippies (or polyamorous, as it's now known), your girlfriend will have chosen your knob over all the other knobs. Unless she’s got her DMs open on Twitter, she probably doesn’t get to see many other dicks. Perhaps she would like that to change.
No need to shun monogamy, just get her Dick Match. It’s basically Snap, but with dicks. Lots of dicks of all shapes, sizes, and colours. So inclusive.
Honestly, this game is just a bit of a laugh. Get this if you’re proper lost, you’ll at least put a smile on her face if nothing else.
As long as you’ve got a face, she’s got somewhere to sit, right? Not if you’re not around. Checkmate, genius. Ensure she’s not sitting on anyone else’s face with her very own Two Faced Mushion.
In case you’ve been living under a rock, Mushions are our range of personalised cushions. You can have any face or, in this case, two faces on your very own cushion. Just upload your chosen photos and our wizards will do the rest.
Our personal favourite suggestion would be to do one side of you happy and one side of you sad, but she might also appreciate you on one side, her on the other. Or just two photos of her beloved dog. Or of her ex, if you want to make things awkward and weird and confirm that YES actually Katie I know you still fancy Ben.
Got a particularly fussy lady in your life who won’t be satisfied with any of the treasures above? Poor you. Only joking, have a look at the rest of our magnificent V-day stuff. No matter how choosy she is, we’ve got something that will make her day.