Find your perfect Valentine's match

Michael Peters – 23rd Jan 2020

They say there's "someone for everyone" but YOU are not for everyone. In a good way, just like our gifts. We're pretty sure we can still find you the perfect partner this Valentine's Day. Have a look at some of the matches we've made so far...


“He's stupidly cute, he's just got this glow about him. I've had him in the bedroom every night this week, sometimes even on my desk at work - I get a serious kick out of turning him on”

Enjoy a night in with the Little Bao Dumpling Light



“It can get a little sticky. Some nights I'll have all of them in my mouth at once, others times I'll maybe just spoon with a couple of them. Once I've finished one of them off I'll just move on to the next one. Spread the love I say.”

Get messy with our range of Spreadables



“What’s wrong with a bit of self-love?”

Treat yourself with our Personalised Mushions



“They can be quite secretive, you never know exactly what you're going to get. When they do finally open up, it’s always a pleasant surprise.”

Take a (well-calculated) risk and buy a Valentine's Mystery Box



“He's loud, attention-seeking, all over the place - but that's why I love him.”

Get their attention with the Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Guy



“What can I say? I'm an ass man”

Know someone who wants to Grow a Booty?



“They're super relaxed, they know exactly how to chill me out”

Chews to have a more relaxing Valentine's Day with our CBD Gummies?



“Hmm he's a bit of a dick... but he's growing on me. He can get away with being cocky, especially with that cheeky smile. He just oozes confidence.”

True love is phallus-y. Cuddle up with Pierre the Penis instead.



“They're so hot. Like seriously unbelievably hot”

Turn up the heat with Instant Regret Chilli Chocolate.



“He’s so unpredictable and sexually charged. One minute nothing, the next he’s all over you. Sometimes I’ll jerk him around a bit but I never know when he’s going to suddenly blow.

Pumped for Valentine's Day? Reach for Jizz the Game


Still searching for 'the one'? Check out our full range of unusual Valentine's Day gifts.