The Christmas season is a time for parties, a time for excess.
But sooner or later the weather and debauchery take their toll, and everyone's faces begin to show the telltale signs - lips like Ryvita biscuits, eye bags like scrotums. And those are just the external manifestations.
Make sure you take it easy (pfft, as if) and treat your friends and family to some TLC this Christmas. We've put together a round up of our favourite alternative pampering Christmas presents:
Treat someone to the tried and tested beauty regime of nature's vainest creature - the Unicorn! This cute set comes with a hair band to keep your mane out of your eyes and a moisturising face mask to give your skin that famous ethereal glow.
Sure, a Lush bath bomb looks spectacular, but does it fizzle away to reveal a sweary token of your love? Nope!
You get three unassuming heart-shaped bath bombs in a classy black gift box; each with their own dirty little message hidden inside. They also smell divine - infused with scents of coconut, lavender and sandalwood. Classy!
Made with real wine, beer and whisky - this truly is a luxurious and boozy bathing experience. Each one of these emollient miracles are packed full of natural ingredients to make your skin happy, including rosemary leaf extract and cranberry seed.
Washing with actual booze is expensive, messy, and makes the contents of your recycling box indicative of alcoholism - get someone lathered with these instead.
You could just buy someone a cucumber, but it's not a very impressive gift - whichever you slice it (hohoho). Give someone's eye bags the Christmas holiday they deserve with these moisturising pudding pads. Soaking them in brandy and setting them on fire is optional.
There's nothing worse than crusty ol' lips, and nothing better than the lingering flavour of a Reese's cup. Give someone their chocolate and peanut butter fix without adding to their already-ballooning Christmas gut.
Not a fan of peanut butter? Get yer jelly bean on instead.
Imagine the powerful sensation of Mint Original Source soaking into your nether regions, only it's tasty alcohol and it's sloshing through your veins/brain.
Treat someone to the heavenly gift of boozing in the shower. The ice cold refreshment. The warm flowing water. Showers don't get much more invigorating.