9 Father's Day Gifts For An Impossible Dad

Ellie Weston – 28th Mar 2019

1. Bike Balls

Does your pa love a go on a bicycle? Whether he’s just a casual commuter or gearing up for Tour De France, these swaying silicone balls will keep him safe on the road. They emit a bright red glow so fellow cyclists and motorists will know he's there, even in the poorest visibility.

All he has to do is attach these water-resistant knackers to the seat rail of his bike. We promise it's effortless, we know dads don't like a faff. Even the controls are super simple. Just turn them on/off and change light modes with a gentle squeeze. Gentle. They are balls after all.

2. The Wallet Ninja 18-in-1 Multi-Tool

Your dad probably isn’t a ninja. The only black belt he has is the leather one he wears to work every day. He grunts when he stands up. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve to FEEL like a ninja.

This pocket tool is a shuriken for the everyday warrior. With 18 clever tools at his disposable, he'll become everyone's go-to guy. Need a screwdriver, can opener, bottle opener, peeler, phone stand, box cutter, letter opener, ruler or hex wrench? He’s your man. Best bit: it’s credit card sized, a bit like having that entire messy toolkit in his pocket at all times. Except less heavy, much much less heavy.

3. Grip Strip

This is perhaps the oldest product from Firebox history that we still sell - and for good reason. It's great, if we do say so ourselves and, more importantly, Dads love it.

The Grip Strip holds just about anything in place. Sunglasses, smartphones, pens, keys, packets of crisps, you name it. Thanks to a miraculous polymer compound, it manages to grip stuff without glue or magnets. It basically defies the laws of physics and impresses old men, all while being non-toxic, hypoallergenic, and stain-free. Can’t argue with that!

4. Swear Socks For Men

Your dad probably puts up with a lot of shit. Be it from his lovely colleagues, his rubbish boss, from your mum, or even from you. And we’re very sure he’d love to go off on one about it. Probably loudly, in a sweary way. But alas, that would be inappropriate. Instead, he can vent his vexation in a SFW way with these Swear Socks. Choose from three different varieties: 'Take No Shit, Give No Fucks', 'Fuck This Shit', or our personal favourite 'This Meeting Is Bullshit'. They're so stylish and modern that nobody will ever guess they feature a naughty word or two.

5. Bulletproof Whisky Glass

You're a disgrace. You've let your poor old dad get this old without ever getting him some proper decent whisky glasses. What kind of child are you?!

Luckily the situation is easily rectified. This whisky glass is one of a kind, studded with a REAL .308 calibre bullet as though it's been shot. No, seriously, they really are all one of a kind - they're hand blown so each one is unique.

He’ll feel pretty badass telling people that he’s drinking out of a glass that once saved his life. If anyone asks, he’s an international spy and not a chartered surveyor from Bedfordshire.

6. Spreadable Coffee

If your dad’s a coffee drinker, he’s probably a bit sick of the boring old liquid format. This marmalade version should sort him out in a more exciting way - unless he scoffs the whole lot immediately. Which is likely when it’s as tasty as it is.

Thankfully he won't go mental from the buzz as this stuff is caffeine free, so you don’t need to worry about his heart if he really does down the lot in one. He might be too stuffed for the special Happy Father’s Day chocolate fondant you made him, though.

7. Personalised Beer Trio

The only thing better than a bottle of beer is a bottle of beer with your name on it. And the only thing better than beer with your name on it is three bottles of beer with your name on it.

You can put any message you like on this trio of pale ales - the only rule is one message per set, not different messages for each bottle. All you have to do is settle on what you want them to say (may we suggest 'Happy Father's Day, you old bastard'?), pop it into our personalisation machine, add it to your basket, and we’ll do the rest.

8. Lambshank Redemption Cookbook

A lot of dads love cooking. A lot of dads love film. So it makes sense that a lot of dads love cooking stuff from films. And that’s where the Lambshank Redemption Cookbook comes in.

Stuffed full of ingenious, delicious recipes inspired by classic movies, this is a bible of film inspired food. And cheeky wordplay. Lots of cheeky wordplay.

Texas Chainsaw Moussaka, anyone?

9. Dodow Sleep Light

Is your dad a bit of an insomniac? Or maybe he’s just a bit crap at getting to bed on time. Either way, he’ll appreciate this ingenious bit of gadgetry.

There is no better gift than the gift of a good night's sleep - and he'll be getting plenty of those with the Dodow sleep light on his bedside table.

This clever little thing retrains your brain to drift off naturally using a high tech combination of metronome and light. Users fall asleep 2.5 faster on average and gain back hundreds of extra hours of sleep per year. We reckon there’s no dad on this planet who wouldn’t appreciate a bit of that.

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Need more Father’s Day inspo? Of course you do! It’ll be a cold day in hell when someone’s dad is easy to buy for. Check this lot out for some seriously easy Father’s Day gifts that’ll put a guaranteed smile on his face.