7 Housewarming Gifts they won't throw away

Michael Peters – 15th Oct 2018

The best thing about giving housewarming gifts? Seeing them proudly on display the next time you visit.

But sometimes you find yourself thinking…

Hang on. Have they just put those scented candles out especially? They’ve never even been lit!

Hmm, that “Time To Drink Gin And Dance On The Table” cushion we got them clashes with absolutely everything in this room – there’s no way they always keep it on the sofa.

Feeling more than slightly paranoid, you stamp open the kitchen pedal bin to reveal the sad, crispy remains of that spider plant from M&S. For f*cks sake.

How do you avoid this slightly demoralising phenomenon? Give more exciting housewarming gifts!

Here are our top seven housewarming gifts that’ll they'll actually want to keep.

Hidden Jewellery Candles

Hidden Jewellery Candle

“A candle!? But you just said…” we hear you cry. This candle is different – they have to burn it if they want to reveal the unique piece of jewellery contained within. And they’ll want to anyway because the candles smell absolutely divine.

Dragon Tears Whisky

Dragon Tears Whisky
Not many people can boast a booze cabinet containing a fiery cinnamon whisky made from dragon’s tears. Treat them to a mythical tipple that they’ll want to show off again and again.

Chocolate Edible Anus

Chocolate Edible Anus How do you top a classic Cadbury’s Milk Tray or a box of Lindt balls? If you’re going to go down the chocolate route, only the Edible Anus will do. These gourmet sphincters will make sure you get invited back

Nature Blue Brut

Nature Blue Brut Everyone’s going to give them a bottle of bubbly – they’ll have about ten in the fridge and end up giving them away as housewarming gifts for their friends. But not if it’s bright blue! They’ll savour this one.

Storm Cloud Weather Predictor

Storm Cloud Weather Predictor Genuinely does something useful – check! Looks pretty bloody cool on the mantelpiece – check!

Neon Telephones

Neon Telephone Again, functional and ornamental AND with retro 80s to boot. Plus you can pretend that it’s a direct hotline to you, like a red presidential phone – only it’s neon pink. Her-larious!

Cheeky Dish Cloth

Cheeky Dish Cloths No one owns a nice dish cloth, so this sweary tea towel will immediately replace the heavily stained Lakeland rag currently hanging on their oven door – and they’ll love you for it.

Right, that’s yer lot. Not convinced that your new homeowner friends will like any of the above? Check out our full range of alternative housewarming gifts.