Useful gifts are usually a bit crap - you may NEED a new toilet brush, but you certainly don’t want one. THESE lovely little creatures, on the other hand, are not your usual ‘practical’ present. You can go ahead and cancel that order of wall mounting brackets now.
Give the gift of making sure your loved one never loses their ring ever again. Simply unscrew their head, pop the ring onto its neck, then pop the head back on. The ring stays safe and acts as a cute little collar for your chosen impeccably detailed animal.
Our personal favourite is the penguin, but we’re not going to tell you how to live your life.
If you read MOST stocking filler gift guides these days, they’ll suggest things like a £60 scented candle (that’s exclusive to somewhere like Harrods and sold out, natch) and a year’s worth of Nespresso pods. Which is totally cool, if you’re an oil baron, bitcoin millionaire, or a social media influencer. The rest of us plebs want our lovely little treasures back, things like tubes of Smarties and novelty fun and games.
Things like Dickhead Hoopla. It’s super easy to play, everyone knows what hoopla is. Just strap the glorious plastic dong onto your head with the comfy adjustable headband and get tossing! The rings that is. Get your mind out of the gutter or you’ll get nothing but coal.
Oh look at it, it’s adorable! Who wouldn’t want to eat Father Christmas? Only in egg form though. Cannibalism isn’t very Christmassy.
Pop him in his egg cup trousers - taking the time to note his adorable little 3D nose that sticks out, insane - and stick his soft little hat on. Snap it for the gram. Then take the hat off, crack him open, and dip those Christmas tree soldiers in. The perfect breakfast to set you up for a long day of festive fun ahead.
This is a stocking filler that will be treasured for years to come. In giving this to someone, you’re giving them a new family tradition. They might even pass it on to their kids. Someone call the Oxford English Dictionary offices because novelty and junk ain’t synonymous no more.
There's something weirdly festive about gnomes. Why aren’t gnomes more involved with Christmas? They seem like the type. They would do well in Santa’s workshop: they fit the size restrictions, they’re a bit like elves - hell, they even look like miniature versions of Santa himself, what with the red hat and white beard and all.
Anyway, these adorable miniature gnomes are the perfect way to brighten a sad window box or jazz up a pot plant. Turn your flower pots into magical wonderlands, buzzing with gnome activity. Each one has a different personality and wields their own little garden tool, awww. Just don’t expect any pruning or watering to get done, these little guys are a little lazy. And, y’know, inanimate.
The holidays are meant to be maxin’, relaxin’, not too taxin’, but the sad reality is that many of us come back from our time off still feeling frazzled - we’re looking at you, workaholics and heads of big families!
When the roast has gone wrong, the tree has been set on fire, the kids are fighting and their partner’s weird uncle is going off on one about why he voted Leave, they’ll be glad they got this Avocado Stress Ball in their stocking. Just don’t let your blind nan start mashing it into a festive guacamole - it might end up being the most stress relieving dip of your life, but it won’t taste very nice.