When a stubborn stool just won't emerge, some people say you should relax, focus on something else. Others suggest adjusting your posture, crossing one leg over the other. Not us, we'd recommend reading a passage or two from The Drop - Horror Novel Toilet Roll, it'll quite literally scare the sh*t out of you.
This harrowing tale printed upon toilet tissue is set in a public restroom and ties into the ancient Japanese belief that evil spirits reside in the smallest room of the house. Parents used to tease children that a hairy hand would emerge and then drag them down into the murky waters. Can you honestly say that you haven't walked into a bathroom and felt (or smelled) the presence of a malevolent spirit?
Written by renowned Japanese author Koji Suzuki, famous for creating the 'Ring' and 'Spiral' series (those titles feel strangely appropriate here). This has got to be the only author in the entire world who actually wants you to wipe your arse with their literary masterpiece.