We're going to cut straight to the chase here and tell you that the Xbox 360 completely creams every other console on the market. But you already know that because this technological triumph is the talk of the entire global gaming community. And that's hardly surprising because anyone who sees this über-powerful machine in action has to pick their eyeballs up off the floor before a falling jaw flattens them. It really is that impressive.
The seriously sexy 360 reigns supreme in every department - from awesome graphics and games, through to sound, controllers, online playability, onboard power and even looks. Set to become the centre of your digiworld, the Xbox 360 also supports countless formats including CD, DVD, DVD-R/RW, MP3, JPEG and more. In addition to playing games and movies, the Xbox 360 can even stream music and video from a wide variety of electronic devices.
The console itself packs an almighty punch: three powerful core processors pump out 720p/1080i output, 16x9 cinematic aspect ratio, anti-aliasing for smooth textures and full surround sound. Which, in a non-techy nutshell, means this baby makes all other consoles seem positively passé. It's like you're actually in the games, not just playing them.
Best of all the Xbox 360 offers online gaming via Xbox Live. This allows you to play thrilling multi-player games on the Internet via your broadband connection. You can also download new missions, characters and game demos on to the console's hard drive. Oh yes, did we mention that the 360 boasts a detachable 20GB hard drive? Well it does, so there!
Add a gorgeous wireless controller and a headset that lets you shout real-time abuse at opponents into the mix, and you're looking at the ultimate entertainment experience.
Of course it would be highly inappropriate to sully this state of the art system with cumbersome cables, so we're also offering the nifty Xbox 360 Wireless Bridge. This compact adapter allows you to link to your wireless home network from any room and battle it out online in an instant. Simply plug it into the Xbox 360's USB port and Lara's your auntie!
Utterly idiot-proof the Xbox 360 Wireless Bridge is powered by the console itself to eliminate adaptor clutter. But there's more: it will also stream photos and music from Microsoft Windows XP and plays videos from any Microsoft Windows XP Media Center based PC. We're not sure if it makes the tea too, but nothing would surprise us.
If you're still not impressed we can only assume that you're reading this from the Planet Tharg where Xbox 360's are surgically grafted into your brain at birth. If not, we give up. When it comes to the Xbox 360, resistance isn't just futile, it's impossible. Prepare to be utterly immersed. Game and life over!