Okay, so you’ve got the volcanic crater crib, the psychopathic tendencies, the white cat, the Nehru suit and the stupid laugh. But haven’t you forgotten something? Yes, that’s right: you haven’t got a place to park your malevolent backside. Enter, with a flash of lightning and an orchestral stab of violins, the truly stunning Villain Chair. Mwah-hah-hah!
Brought to you by Suck UK and their evil band of designer henchmen, this fiendishly opulent piece of furniture has been created for the unhinged megalomaniac with (almost) everything.
Handmade using steel, chrome and 20 padded leather facets on formed aluminium, the Villain Chair’s semi-cocooned shape will envelop your inhuman form to perfection – until you decide to swivel round and reveal your identity to your cronies or sack the layabout in IT: ‘You know this organisation does not tolerate failure.’ Aaaaaargh! Suck UK can even create your chair upholstery in various colours (they said whilst putting pinkie to lower lip and going ‘hmmm’).
With a Villain Chair in your home or office you'll never suffer the indignity of attempting to organise total world domination from some flimsy flat-packed seat. This thing reeks of sheer quality and pure evil, and will definitely let underlings know who’s in charge. Who knows, it might even attract Pussy Galore.
At an impressive 900 x 900 x 1200mm, the Villain Chair is not for piddly rooms. But who cares when you’ve got the run of a pimped-up crater. Put it in the control room, over by the shark tank or on the viewing platform next to your stolen atomic missiles. Failing that, shove it in your sitting room and rub your hands together in twisted glee as gobsmacked guests gawp at its iconic form.
If you’re wondering what this amazing chair costs, you can’t afford it. Furniture of this magnificence is strictly for criminal masterminds. In which case you should have already worked out how to get one without paying for it. Mwah-hah…mwah-hah-hah…muuuwaaahhahaha!
More detail and specification