The battle for office supremacy knows no decorum: blowing soggy clumps of tissue through biro blowpipes, boinging rubber bands around, chucking cups of cold coffee over colleagues' heads (or is that just us?). It's almost enough to make you want to knuckle down and do some work. Almost.
Of course the sophisticated executive warmonger wouldn't be seen dead attacking workmates with such primitive ammo. Especially when the miracle of USB connectivity has rendered such weaponry obsolete. Step forward the ingenious USB Cannon.
It might look like one of those comedy circus cannons you see firing leotard-clad blokes with wax moustaches through the air, but this nifty little weapon of mass distraction is capable of raining punishment on your enemies with a mere flick of a space bar.
Powered and controlled by your computer, the USB Cannon shoots its squishy ammo broadside up to 10ft. Simply aim the cannon up, down, left and right using your keyboard and unleash hell. Well, okay, unleash three spongy projectiles and hide under your desk.
But what's with all this 'babe' business, we hear you ask? Well, for some bizarre reason, the circus theme also extends to the ammo, because each foamy missile looks like a glamorous circus girl, albeit a rather strangely shaped one. Not that this makes a blind bit of difference when you're zeroing in on an unsuspecting target and boinking them in the head with one.
To add to the infantile nature of your cross-departmental battles, the USB Cannon comes with several pre-recorded sound effects as well as software that enables all you wannabe warlords to download your own, less-whimsical faves. We're currently using the riff from The Final Countdown to coincide with every missile launch. Boy George was right, war is stupid!
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