We've come a very long way from scribbling our autograph on till receipts, to the wonders of chip and pin and the speedy efficiency of today's contactless payments. But digging around in your bag or pocket for cards – it's all just a bit "clunky". Meet Smart ePants.
A waterproof microchip stitched into the front and back of these comfortable cotton undies allows you to make secure payments with a hearty pelvic thrust or playful booty pop.
Touching in and out on the tube? Paying for a coffee? Now you can beat the daily grind with some actual bump and grind. Got a friend with ePants? Simply jump into their arms and wrap your legs around their waist to make an instant cash transfer.
Remember that time you forgot your wallet and you had to trudge home in the pouring rain, at 4am, drunk, with no shoes on, weeping, tired, hungry, repentant and alone? With Smart ePants you'll never be caught short again, because unless you're a deviant little piglet you probably aren't going to forget to put on your underwear.