As most of us know, there's a fine art to speed drinking and caution is key, especially when it comes to downing particularly potent concoctions. That's why racing to see who can down their shot the fastest is a potential minefield of inaccuracy. The margins for human error are enormous and failure to pinpoint a clear winner can often produce rematch after rematch, a cyclical process that can lead to serious headaches Â– both literally and metaphorically.
For this very reason we thought it was high time we tracked down a quick-fire device that accurately identifies the fastest slammer in town. Slammer Timer does exactly that, and it's guaranteed to put an end to down-in-one disputes and shot-related shenanigans, even if participants are in an advanced state of refreshment.
Simply fill the four colourful shot glasses with the drink of your choice, place them on the pressure-sensitive slammer mats and press the central button. This triggers a tense, five-second countdown during which you can eyeball your alcohol-fuelled adversaries, Spaghetti Western-styley.
When the counter reaches zero, the four lights flash and the stopwatch starts. Grab your shot, knock it back and slam it down asap. Contact with the mat will stop the timer and blue lights will flash either side of the fastest slammer in a wham, slam, youÂ’re the man kind of way.
Mercifully the winner gets to sit out the next round, so victory is vital, because unless you're playing with shandy, continual defeat can lead to legs-like-broken-candles syndrome, tequila-collapso, or worse. A sobering thought.
Slammer Timer is perfect for parties and, as long as you keep thinking whilst drinking, it's a great pre- or post-pub distraction. In fact, seeing as we're on the subject of sensible drinking we'll leave the final words to that great philosopher Homer (Simpson, not the clever Greek bloke). "Alcohol is the cause and solution to all of life's problems." We'll drink to that!