Sick of Christmas being an orgy of goodwill and merriment? Give the gift of deeply harrowing, stress-inducing frustration this festive season. Give your loved ones the Never-Ending Musical Christmas Card.
A musical menace that just won't stop playing – this unbearably merry card jingles for three horrendous hours. If the recipient taps (furiously bashes) the button to try and turn it off – it gets twice as loud. When they finally reach their whits end and rip it open to destroy the electronics – they're greeted with a majestic burst of glitter.
Thankfully delivered in safe mode, you can sign and test it, making sure the tune is suitably piercing before delivering.