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Hippo Bottle Opener

Pop a cap in his ass (teeth)
In Stock
£19.99$25.59€24.00
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Hefty Hippo bottle opener
Impressive barrel shaped tool and kitchen ornament
Cast iron quality and ferocious heft
Brutish bestial booze bar buddy
Hippopotamus means 'river horse'!
Free UK Delivery Over £100Free ReturnsNext Day Delivery available Before 5pm
Free UK Delivery Over £100
Free Returns
Next Day Delivery available Before 5pm
Description
Which African land animal do you think kills the most humans every year? Lion? No. Elephant Shrew? No. Rhi? No. Bongo? No. Dik-Dik? No. Honey Badger? Nasty, but No.

It’s actually the Hippo. The stocky legged, dump-truck, fatty bum bummed, yawning, mammalian, big mouth, human terror threat.

They might look like dozy semiaquatic simpletons, but Hippo’s are highly aggressive and unpredictable - just like your drinking!

That’s why we’ve turned this beastly brute into a useful member of your home bar arsenal. It’s made of quality cast iron and packs over 500g of raw omnivore utility.

It can be found in it’s natural habitat, lurking beneath the surface of your kitchen worktop (in the drawer with other animal utensils - like the Tapir-corkscrew, the Cheetah-spatula and the Man-drill) ready to surprise you with a powerful gaping jaw to pop the head (cap) off your bottles. This guy is serious.

The Hippo Bottle Opener is a high quality piece of raw opening power that laughs/yawns at the feeble competition. Say goodbye to opening bottles with your pathetic human teeth.

 

More info
Please Note:
  • Is rhymenoceros vs hiphopopotamus the best FOC song? Yes we think it just might be.
Product Features:
  • A Hippo's closest living relatives are whales and dolphins!
  • Made from cast iron
  • Weighs a satisfying 0.578kg
Dimensions:
  • Measures approximately 12.5cm(W) x 6cm(H) x 5cm(D)