Grow A Dick
  • Grow A Dick
  • Grow A Dick
  • Grow A Dick
  • Grow A Dick
  • Grow A Dick

Grow A Dick

Willy chillies

In Stock

£9.99$12.99€11.99

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Grow A Dick
£9.99
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Sh*t Hot right now
  • The spiciest way to tell ‘em to grow a dick
  • Contains all you need to grow dick shaped chillies
  • Super simple - just add water!
  • 100% organic, from the soil to the penis produce itself
  • Literally looks like a bunch of red dicks
V - Suitable for Vegetarians

Description

Spicy bellend! No, it’s not an STD, it’s the organic produce from our super easy Grow A Dick Kit! This sassy little cube has a big surprise inside: spoiler alert, it’s everything you need to grow a girthy batch of capsicum annuum - AKA phallic chillies!

This is no bird-of-paradise-flower-situation, these spicy red numbers are unmistakably penile from head to shaft. Except for the little green bit on the stem, obvs. If you actually have one of those on your knob, please see a doctor, you may be at risk of being diagnosed as a plant.

All you have do to bring your willy chillies to life is open the cube and pour a little water on the pre-planted seeds. Pop it in a bright, warm place and keep watering every so often to keep them moist - in 12-18 days, you’ll be seeing a red cock rising out of the soil. Mental. In a few weeks, you could be slicing your very own scarlet bellend into a sexy stir fry! Nice.

When you’re ready to repot your plants into something more fitting (coming soon: the Firebox terracotta vagina), the magical eco-friendly cube will slowly decompose and turn into valuable coconut fibre fertiliser for the plant, enriched with all sorts of stuff that makes chillies fully erect big and handsome.

Now all you need is a pair of ginger balls to go with them for a culinary genital match made in Heaven.

More detail and specification

5 Reviews

Average 5/5 stars
  • "Well, those dicks are realy good. If you know what i mean."
    - 22nd of August, 2019
  • "The product come in PERFECT conditions! And also thank you guys for the little pack of gummies!!!! "
    - 8th of July, 2019
  • "Bought for a friend’s birthday and don’t know if it’ll grow yet. Great idea though "
    - 16th of April, 2019
  • "Already growing up! Cant wait to see it when its all grown."
    - 3rd of April, 2019
  • "Hilarious and 100% worth it!"
    - 17th of March, 2019

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