You know what your lawn needs? A giant dinosaur. One that sprinkles water.
Bin that rusty old sprinkler you got from a garden centre bargain bucket in 2003. It’s probably dodgy and jagged enough to give you tetanus if you step on it. Unlike this majestic t-rex. Connect him up to your outdoor tap and watch as a spray of water jets from his nostrils.
At 6ft tall, this beast is big enough to concern your annoying neighbours and delight everyone who has the pleasure of setting foot in your garden. Let it keep the lawn in good shape like a boring old adult or spend hours of nostalgic fun running through his stream, no judgement here.