Know someone with a slightly chequered past? Tried to frame them once already and came up short? Just can't let that grudge go? You need the Frame A Friend Kit
A wise and reputable County Sheriff once said: "It would have been easier to kill him than frame him."
Nonsense. With this kit at your disposal it's never been easier (or more fun!) to put someone behind bars.
The contents are random but a typical kit includes:
- Hypodermic needle for stealing blood samples
- An old car key
- A one-size-fits-all leather glove
- A used bullet
- Strongly-worded letters and cash bribes for jurors
- Vial of assorted muck to contaminate any DNA evidence
- Discreet lapel microphone for toilet recordings
Understandably, you may think that this random selection of circumstantial junk
isn't enough to convict someone of a crime they didn't commit. It is. Don't get hung up on the lack of genuine forensic evidence.
We've also included a small pamphlet full of tips to ensure that everything runs smoothly. For example:
- Give open access to the crime scene – unsupervised police officers, family members, the lot.
- Don't make phone calls to the police calling in evidence before it's supposed to have been discovered.
- Rope in a gormless and impressionable accomplice, coerce them into giving detailed confessions and get them to make drawings of whatever you say happened.
Follow our instructions to the letter and it won't matter how charismatic and confusingly attractive their defence attorneys are. Hell, if you're lucky Netflix or HBO might even serialise the whole affair and make millions of compulsive viewers tear their hair out.