Upbeat T-shirts are all well and good but the fact is life sucks. So why walk around with a chestful of cheery messages and 'I'm mad, I am!' maxims when you can wear a gloriously pessimistic Despair T-Shirt?
NEW! - "More people have read this shirt than your blog."
Made by our good friends at Despair Inc., creators of the soul-crushingly depressing Demotivators range of products, each high-quality shirt bears an ingeniously cynical image that is as sublime as it is devastating.
"Irony" ...It's just science!
First up there's Irony, a garment that succinctly pricks the idiotic balloon of so-called satire seen on many supposedly cool T-shirts. Depicting the entry for iron from the periodic table ('irony' geddit?) this smart T will appeal to anyone who found that Alannis Morrissette song deeply annoying. After all, there's nothing remotely ironic about needing a knife and winding up with 10,000 spoons. Iron on the other hand is undeniably irony. So there.
Next up there's Potential. This knowing T-shirt depicts a large order of fries above the message 'Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.' Need we say more? Probably not because burger flippers have managers who have bosses who have lawyers.
"Potential - Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up"
...Fries with that?
Despair T-Shirts have been carefully designed so that you can skip the delusions induced by glib motivational messages and head straight for the inevitable disappointments that follow. Which in words of one syllable means they're funny, tongue-in-cheek and much smarter than the average T. (Okay, some of those words contain more than one syllable).
Ideal for under-achievers, loafers, cynics and anybody who hates, well, everything, Despair T-Shirts are set to become must-have apparel as the world sinks into an ever deepening pit of despair. So what are you waiting for? Unleash the power of mediocrity - in style. Oh yes, and cheer up for gawd's sake!