According to Winston Churchill 'A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.' Stirring stuff, but looking on the bright side isn't always easy. Indeed, in these irrationally exuberant times, it's getting harder and harder for the self-respecting pessimist to stay unhappy.
That's why we've been looking for a product to remind all you perennial pessimists out there just how hopeless things really are. And although we weren't holding out much hope of finding anything, we've managed to come up trumps.
The Pessimist's Mug has been specifically engineered by our chronically cynical friends at Despair Laboratories and it's the ideal gift for anyone who worships at the altar of Meldrew. That's because this crystal-clear glass mug features a halfway marker underneath which the words 'This glass is now half-empty' are printed. So whenever things are looking up, one glance at the Pessimist's Mug will soon remind you that life can only get worse. Which isn't such a bad thing, because once you get used to eternal pessimism it can be just as agreeable as groundless optimism.
In fact, the Pessimist's Mug is a great present for optimists too, because it's guaranteed to keep upbeat dimwits grounded by forever reminding them that the glass really is half-empty. So if there's anyone in your office who is annoyingly optimistic or depressingly pessimistic, the message on this stylish but sturdy mug should encourage them to keep their speculative opinions to themselves.
We hate to be all doom and gloom in closing, but we think the Pessimist's Mug is going to fly off the shelves faster than you can say 'The future's dull, the future's dismal'. So order yours now and hope for the worst. Because a real pessimist is never disappointed.
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