Despair Calendar
Despair Calendar
Despair Calendar
Despair Calendar

Despair Calendar

If at first you don't succeed, give up.
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Despair Calendar 2011
Forget pussy cats, pop stars and panoramic vistas; calendars should be engaging, amusing and thought-provoking. The trouble is most message-bearing calendars are of the annoying 'You don't have to be mad to work here...' variety. Either that or they're weird, quasi-religious ones filled with syrupy proverbs pilfered from a Stepford wife's pin cushion.

Then there's the motivational quote calendar; a real page turner (not!) filled with supposedly inspiring, seize the day-style axioms; you know, the sort of thing you might see hanging on David Brent's wall. So wouldn't it be good if there was a calendar to counter all this optimistic thigh-slapping drivel; a calendar filled with demotivating images and utterly demoralising words of wisdom. Well, guess what? There is, and it's called Best of Demotivators 2011.

This brilliant calendar has been put together by our good friends at Despair Inc., creators of the soul-crushingly depressing Demotivators range, designed so you can skip the delusions induced by motivational products and head straight for the inevitable disappointments that follow. The Demotivators Calendar 2011 really is one of the most gloriously disheartening gifts we've ever seen, as it contains 12 ingenious, myth-exploding messages concerning a variety of subjects, from achievement and ambition to pretension and procrastination.

You can't make this stuff up!

You can't make this stuff up!

On the subject of 'Consulting', for example, the Demotivators Calendar says 'If you're not part of the solution, there's good money to be made prolonging the problem'. Each hilariously harsh home truth is accompanied by an equally entertaining, beautifully shot picture, making this one of the best ways to de-cheesify any home or office. It's also an ideal gift for under-achievers, loafers, cynics and anybody who hates smarmy motivational proverbs and upbeat axioms.

Despair Calendar 2011
In addition, scattered throughout are entertaining reminders of priceless faux pas, hilarious humiliations and corporate cock-ups from recent (and not so recent) history. A reminder to us all that hubris and humiliation are not mutually exclusive - fate is often lurking just around the next corner wearing nothing more than a custard pie and a cheeky grin. Just ask U2.

So what are you waiting for? Good things don't come to those who wait; good things come to those who click Buy.

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    Free UK Delivery Over £100
    Free Returns
    Next Day Delivery Not Available
    Free UK Delivery Over £100
    Free Returns
    Next Day Delivery Not Available
    Description
    Despair Calendar 2011
    Forget pussy cats, pop stars and panoramic vistas; calendars should be engaging, amusing and thought-provoking. The trouble is most message-bearing calendars are of the annoying 'You don't have to be mad to work here...' variety. Either that or they're weird, quasi-religious ones filled with syrupy proverbs pilfered from a Stepford wife's pin cushion.

    Then there's the motivational quote calendar; a real page turner (not!) filled with supposedly inspiring, seize the day-style axioms; you know, the sort of thing you might see hanging on David Brent's wall. So wouldn't it be good if there was a calendar to counter all this optimistic thigh-slapping drivel; a calendar filled with demotivating images and utterly demoralising words of wisdom. Well, guess what? There is, and it's called Best of Demotivators 2011.

    This brilliant calendar has been put together by our good friends at Despair Inc., creators of the soul-crushingly depressing Demotivators range, designed so you can skip the delusions induced by motivational products and head straight for the inevitable disappointments that follow. The Demotivators Calendar 2011 really is one of the most gloriously disheartening gifts we've ever seen, as it contains 12 ingenious, myth-exploding messages concerning a variety of subjects, from achievement and ambition to pretension and procrastination.

    You can't make this stuff up!

    You can't make this stuff up!

    On the subject of 'Consulting', for example, the Demotivators Calendar says 'If you're not part of the solution, there's good money to be made prolonging the problem'. Each hilariously harsh home truth is accompanied by an equally entertaining, beautifully shot picture, making this one of the best ways to de-cheesify any home or office. It's also an ideal gift for under-achievers, loafers, cynics and anybody who hates smarmy motivational proverbs and upbeat axioms.

    Despair Calendar 2011
    In addition, scattered throughout are entertaining reminders of priceless faux pas, hilarious humiliations and corporate cock-ups from recent (and not so recent) history. A reminder to us all that hubris and humiliation are not mutually exclusive - fate is often lurking just around the next corner wearing nothing more than a custard pie and a cheeky grin. Just ask U2.

    So what are you waiting for? Good things don't come to those who wait; good things come to those who click Buy.

     

    More info
    Dimensions:
    • Approximately 30.5cm x 56cm (when open).
    • Approximately 30.5cm x 28cm (when closed).
    A word from the founder of Despair, Inc:
    "MOTIVATION. Psychology tells us it comes from within. Common sense tells us it can't be manufactured. Yet motivational books, posters and speeches are the heart of a multi-billion dollar industry. Why? Because people desperately want simple solutions to complex problems. And when desperation has disposable income, market opportunities abound. At Despair, Inc., we believe motivational products raise hopes only to dash them. Our 2011 calendar features twelve of our most depressing Demotivators® designs, so you can skip the delusions that motivational products induce and head straight for the disappointments that follow. Enjoy! (As if that's really possible)."
    - E.L. Kersten, Ph.D., Despair, inc. COO & Founder.

    Months:
    Description   CURIOSITY
    January

    "Some places remain unknown because no one has ventured forth. Others remain so because no one has ever come back."
    Description   INDECISION
    February

    "The mark of the leader is the ability to make decisions. The mark of the survivor is knowing when not to."
    Description   PROPAGANDA
    March

    "What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies right to our faces."
    Description   DREAMS
    April

    "Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them."
    Description   CREATIVITY
    May

    "Helps artists die young, miserable, and penniless so their art can have meaning to the old, satisfied, and obscenely rich."
    Description   IGNORANCE
    June

    "It’s amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they’re going."
    Description   THE SECRET OF SUCCESS
    July

    "What is the secret? Pretend you’ve already achieved it then offer to sell the secret to others."
    Description   LEGACY
    August

    "It took millions of years to create something this extraordinary. You have about seventy-four."
    Description   WEALTH
    September

    "All I ask is for a chance to prove that money can’t buy happiness."
    Description   INSIGHT
    October

    "When the going gets tough, the tough get going. The smart left a long time ago."
    Description   STRIFE
    November

    "As long as we have each other, we’ll never run out of problems."
    Description   PROBLEMS
    December

    "No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you’ve probably only seen the tip of them."

     

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