Forget pussy cats, pop stars and panoramic vistas; calendars should be engaging, amusing and thought-provoking. The trouble is most message-bearing calendars are of the annoying 'You don't have to be mad to work here...' variety. Either that or they're weird, quasi-religious ones filled with syrupy proverbs pilfered from a Stepford wife's pin cushion.
Then there's the motivational quote calendar; a real page turner (not!) filled with supposedly inspiring, seize the day-style axioms; you know, the sort of thing you might see hanging on David Brent's wall. So wouldn't it be good if there was a calendar to counter all this optimistic thigh-slapping drivel; a calendar filled with demotivating images and utterly demoralising words of wisdom. Well, guess what? There is, and it's called Best of Demotivators 2011
This brilliant calendar has been put together by our good friends at Despair Inc., creators of the soul-crushingly depressing Demotivators range, designed so you can skip the delusions induced by motivational products and head straight for the inevitable disappointments that follow. The Demotivators Calendar 2011 really is one of the most gloriously disheartening gifts we've ever seen, as it contains 12 ingenious, myth-exploding messages
concerning a variety of subjects, from achievement and ambition to pretension and procrastination.
You can't make this stuff up!
On the subject of 'Consulting', for example, the Demotivators Calendar says 'If you're not part of the solution, there's good money to be made prolonging the problem'. Each hilariously harsh home truth is accompanied by an equally entertaining, beautifully shot picture, making this one of the best ways to de-cheesify any home or office. It's also an ideal gift for under-achievers, loafers, cynics and anybody who hates smarmy motivational proverbs and upbeat axioms.
In addition, scattered throughout are entertaining reminders of priceless faux pas, hilarious humiliations and corporate cock-ups from recent (and not so recent) history. A reminder to us all that hubris and humiliation are not mutually exclusive - fate is often lurking just around the next corner wearing nothing more than a custard pie and a cheeky grin. Just ask U2.
So what are you waiting for? Good things don't come to those who wait; good things come to those who click Buy.