Crap Calendars
  • Crap Calendars

Crap Calendars

You are beautiful, no matter what they say

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    Inside page of the Crap Best of British Roundabouts calendar

    Which prison shall I visit this month?

    When it comes to calendars we’re pretty sick of staring at Peter Andre’s tango’d six-pack, Jordan’s airbrushed bazookas and the cast of Hollyoaks in their pants. Even The Saturdays With Not Much On is becoming slightly passé.

    No, dear reader, in these austere times, unattainable glamour is crass. What’s called for is a reality check – and you’re guaranteed that with Crap Calendars. Glass half empty? Yes please!

    Brought to you by the headcase behind 2003’s smash hit page-turner, Roundabouts of Britain, this fabulously depressing 2013 range includes Her Majesty’s Prisons of England and Best of British Roundabouts. Grim? The pics in these babies make Slough Trading Estate look like Rodeo Drive!

    Showing the Calaendar close up

    Space to write your appointments

    Highly ironic (well, sort of) each quality calendar features 12 stunning shots of Britain’s finest slammers, gyratory systems and factories. You can almost hear the music from The Office and smell those heady fumes every time you flip a page. Mmm…bricks, concrete and asphalt!

    Her Majesty’s Prisons of England 2013
    From the daunting entrance to the Portland Prison to more progressive but equally dismal ‘red bricks’ such as H.M Prison Hull, this calendar serves as an ideal crime deterrent.

    Her Majesty’s Prisons of England 2013 Her Majesty’s Prisons of England 2013 Her Majesty’s Prisons of England 2013

    HMP The Verne

    HMP Dartmoor

    HMP The Grove

    Best of British Roundabouts 2013
    Featuring some of the finest examples of the one way gyratory, from the Wonderful Titchmarsh traffic island in Weymouth to the truly unique Pump House Roundabout in Pembroke Dock, this is the perfect gift for any Alan Partridge wannabe.

    Best of British Roundabouts 2013 Best of British Roundabouts 2013 Best of British Roundabouts 2013

    Fantastic double-ringer, York

    Weather vanes, Livingston

    Pump house, Pembroke Dock

    With the possible exception of Zac Efron’s official effort, Crap Calendars are amongst the most dispiriting calendars we’ve ever seen. And that’s exactly why we love ‘em.

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