Gone are the days when DNA profiling was only ever mentioned in geeky sci-fi shows and straight-to-video detective movies. Post-millennial boffins now use genetic fingerprinting on an everyday basis, and its myriad uses are multiplying faster than you can say "Look at my deoxyribonucleic acid" Â– which, incidentally, is what DNA stands for.
So just imagine the thrill of being able to collect and store your own DNA without leaving the comfort of your armchair. Well now you can, with the astonishing CATGee Home DNA Kit. This sleek brushed alloy pack is the first in the world of its kind and contains everything you need to take a sample of your Â– or someone else's - DNA and store it indefinitely in complete safety. Swabs, sterile pouches and sexy gloves are all included, so rest assured, your nutty professor/Boys from Brazil moment will be incredibly realistic.
The process itself is easier than putting on a hat. Using one of the sterile swabs you take a sample of cells (spittle to you and me) from the inside of your cheek and place it on a piece of special paper. The paper then changes colour to indicate that your DNA has been successfully recorded. You then pop the paper into a special storage pouch and label it for safekeeping or presentation.
But this is just the beginning; the real fun starts when you join Club CATGee. No, itÂ’s not a dodgy clone colony in the Med; itÂ’s your chance to have your DNA professionally profiled. Simply return your sample (together with a membership fee) to the eggheads at CATGee and their men in white will extract your data under full lab conditions.
You can then order personalised (and we really mean personalised) goodies bearing your own inimitable illustrated CATGee code - everything from funky T-shirts, sweatshirts and other clothing to pillowcases to stickers, stationery and e-cards.
We really canÂ’t over-emphasise the groundbreaking nature of this product, but take it from us, in these troubled times, wearing a T-shirt bearing an accurate graphical representation of your DNA, safe in the knowledge thereÂ’s a small "piece" of you tucked away in a secret location is strangely reassuring.