Inept but brilliant, unfunny but hilarious, rubbish but good, tongue-in-cheek but deadly serious; these are just a few of the startling contradictions that spring to mind when you think of the show that was Bullseye and the legend that is Jim Bowen.
In fact the whole concept of a gameshow involving darts, speedboats and a northern stand-up remains a fascinating paradox. Maybe that's why Bullseye was one of the most captivating TV shows ever. From Jim's so-bad-they-were-good jokes and Tony's shocking pullovers, to a succession of revolving dartboards, moo-ing Bullys and questions from the "What colour is an orange/Who wrote Beethoven's 5th Symphony" school of difficulty, Bullseye was essential viewing for anyone who couldn't be bothered (or wasn't old enough) to go to the pub on a Sunday afternoon.
And what about the prizes? Speedboats for winners from Wolverhampton, hang gliding lessons for elderly runners-up and, of course, Bendy Bullys and tinny tankards for everyone. In terms of top class entertainment Bullseye was a genuine one hundred and eightyyyyy!
But the glue that held this truly brilliant mess together was good old Jim Bowen. And it is with this incontrovertible fact in mind that we bring you the brilliant Bullseye in Your Pocket Voice Keychain. This handheld gizmo allows you to enjoy Jim's wit and wisdom whenever and wherever you want. Simply press a button and you'll hear one of six classic Bullseye one-liners, specially recorded by Jim:
You don't need us to tell you about the comic potential of this ingenious little device, but seeing as we're talking about a man with a penchant for stating the obvious ("That's black... that's black, too") we will anyway. Bullseye in Your Pocket is hilarious fun down the local as it seems to contain a phrase for every scenario. "Look at what you could have won!" is right up there with a Family Fortunes-style "Uh-uhhh!" when friends get blanked. And "super, smashing, great!" works in almost any situation.
So here's your question: for £9.95 are you going to buy Bullseye in Your Pocket? Your money isn't on its way to the hospice after the show, your tankards aren't safe and we can't even give you your BFH, but we can guarantee that Bullseye in Your Pocket will provide you with hours of entertainment. And remember, you can't beat a bit of Bully!