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EST. 1998
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14

Crappy Children's Art

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Crappy Children's Art

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  •  Not all children were destined to be the next Monet
  •  Those smug little brats have been over-praised for way too long
  •  A scathing but fair criticism of these infantile "masterpieces"
  •  Written by New York Times best-selling author – Maddox
  •  The World's foremost authority on children's abominable scribbles
  •  Why is it always some crooked house or a tree with wheels?
  •  It's not adorable – it's sh*t!
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description

Several years ago, author Maddox told a co-worker that one of the pictures in her office cubicle sucked. She took offence and brought it to his attention that it was drawn by her 4-year-old nephew. It changed nothing. In fact, it only strengthened his resolve to go out and ruthlessly grade Crappy Children's Art.

Covering all the classic themes from zoo animals and superheroes to "things that scare you" and "my family." Maddox casts his critical gaze over these scribbled crayon abominations and reviews them with pointed and brutally hilarious honesty.

"When Peter Parker created his alter ego to strike fear into the hearts of criminals, I doubt "spread eagled with a constipated expression" is what he had in mind."

"This gave me the eye equivalent of a nosebleed."

"A giant "cleaning" robot with soap-laser beams, broom arms, and dust-cleaner eyes? Good job, I'll take two."

"If any alien doesn't have one eye, it has to have three. There's an unspoken rule that when drawing aliens, the number of eyes must be an odd number. Yet for some reason, aliens never seem to have one arm or three."

more info

Please Note:
  • If you're a parent with a fridge door covered in adorable "masterpieces" – this book probably isn't for you
Product Features:
  • A scathing but fair criticism of these infantile "masterpieces"
  • Written by New York Times best-selling author – Maddox
  • The World's foremost authority on children's abominable scribbles
  • Points out all sorts of ludicrous absurdities such as – unintentional Hitler, boners, animals performing sex acts etc.
  • Ruthless gradings from F- to A+
  • 310 pages
Dimensions:
  • Measures approximately 18cm(W) x 22.5cm(H) x 2.5cm(D)

Customer Reviews

Having had to endure the abominations created by friends and co-workers children, Maddox writes what I've always wanted to tell them - your art sucks! There are some genuinely laugh out loud parts to this book, with the Aliens section being a particular highlight. Be warned though that if you don't like your humour offensive and curse-laden then you probably won't like this!
Ashley Allen, United Kingdom - 21st July 2014
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