Monkey Picked Tea

Everyone loves a good old cup of Rosie Lee, but there are times when bog standard builder's tea simply won't do. After all, we doubt the Queen chucks a couple of bags of Typhoo in the pot when she's having visiting dignitaries round for a few cucumber sarnies. The only problem is, unless you've got a double-barrelled name and your palate is as pretentious as your hyphen, poncey brews like Earl Grey and Darjeeling just don't hit the spot. What's more, posh tea is hardly likely to get your guests in a lather of excitement.

That's why your good friends here at Firebox finally decided to seek out a decidedly different brew to enliven your elevenses and transform your tea breaks. And by Jiminy, have we found one!

Monkey Picked Tea is a wonderfully refreshing brew that has been hand - or rather paw - picked by monkeys! Do not adjust your computer - you read it right the first time. These well cared for monkeys are famous in their native China and are specially trained by their owners to pick rare, wild tea plants in inaccessible places, such as cliff faces. The monkey-picked leaves produce a pale, golden tea that's so fragrant and delicious it's best served without milk. Or sugar. Or biscuits. Or cake. The point being, drinking Monkey Tea should be viewed as an important spiritual event, not to be sullied by crass diversions.

Best of all, the monkeys enjoy their work. Picking tea is a family business for most of these resourceful little simians, as their parents before them were usually in the tea picking trade too. And let's face it, scurrying around in the great outdoors harvesting Asia's favourite drink is a far more dignified way to earn a living than prancing around on a barrel-organ in a grubby, ill-fitting clown's suit. Monkey Tea is guaranteed to get tongues wagging and mouths watering the minute you mention it, so put the kettle on and order some today.