Cross-stitches may be forever associated with adorable old ladies, feverishly beavering away to create charming little pieces of unexceptional wall art. They're the epitome of the word 'quaint.'
This is precisely why you have to undermine them. Usurp them. You need to make people look twice. You need the Subversive Cross Stitch Kits.
There are five equally cheeky and graceless varieties to choose from and each kit comes with a wooden hoop, two needles, thread and 14-count silver-grade white material that's been professionally die-cut with zig-zag edges to prevent messy fraying.
Contrary to popular belief, you don't require a life-time's worth of experience to make your own whimsical bad-mannered tapestries; the full-colour pattern and easy-to-follow instructions make creating these crude cross-stitches an absolute doddle.
Stick it in a frame or if you're really handy you could make it into a pillow. However you choose to present it, sit back and enjoy your utterly obscene yet surprisingly homely and inconspicuous artwork.