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70s Hairy Chest Sweater

70s Hairy Chest Sweater

Hirsute Couture

Direct Despatch

  •  Thick, luxuriant chest-rug
  •  Stay warm during winter hibernation
  •  Experience increased attraction from bears


What makes lumberjacks, 70s television stars and the giant Brown Bears of Alaska so irresistibly attractive to others? Simple. Their long, luxuriant chest hair.

Sadly, the recent 'man-scaping' trend has led to an epidemic of people pedantically plucking their pecs. Oh, the humanity.

Thankfully, we’ve found a solution (while you wait for your rug to regenerate). The 70s Hairy Chest Sweater. This 100% polyester sweater is almost guaranteed to increase your masculinity, virility and ability to chop wood.

Pull it on to cover that embarrassing hairless body, or add it to your existing rug for additional ‘70s style points.

More Information

Please Note:
  • Actual increase in virility and masculinity is debatable
  • Everybody knows lumberjacks are born that way
Product Features:
  • Thick, luxuriant chest-rug
  • Stay warm during winter hibernation
  • Experience possible increased attraction from bears
  • Small Measures approximately 36"(Around chest) x 27"(L)
  • Medium Measures approximately 39"(Around chest) x 27"(L)
  • Large Measures approximately 43"(Around chest) x 28"(L)