Do you love chocolate? Do you love chilli? Do you love feeling like your tongue is melting and your tears are on fire? Then have we got the terrifying treat for you! Introducing, the Instant Regret Chocolate Bar. It's offensively hot chocolate.
We extracted the capsaicin (the hot bit) from the hottest chillies available, the resulting infusion burns like a thousand suns, and then we made delicious milk chocolate with it. Or at least, that was the plan.
If you’re the kind of curry connoisseur who asks for extra spicy, or the type to put Tabasco on everything, then this may well be a dream come true. However be warned - the Instant Regret “hot” chocolate is not for the faint of heart... it’s not even really for fun. Strictly speaking, it’s probably not chocolate at all.
So just to confirm for anyone in the remotest of doubt - our Instant Regret Chocolate really is extraordinarily hot. The factory didn't really want to make it. It's fair to say that it turned out quite a bit hotter than we thought. Still, what is joy without pain?
Challenge yourself, and your friends. You won’t regret it.*
*Seriously, you almost certainly WILL regret it.
Please Note:
CAUTION: Chocolate contains extreme quantities of chilli and is not suitable for children, pets or the elderly.
CAUTION: Do not put in direct contact with eyes or downstairs area, and wash hands after handling.
CAUTION: This bar has been made in a factory that regularly uses tree nuts and peanuts.
DO NOT Eat more than a single piece until you have tested your tolerance.
DO NOT Give to unsuspecting people without warning them.
DO NOT Consume while driving or operating heavy machinery... or any machinery.
DO NOT Consume if you have a history of heart problems, chilli terror or any other concerns about spicy food.
DO NOT Consume without handy supplies of milk, yoghurt and other cooling food substances.
Not suitable for children or persons under the age of 16... or over 16 for that matter.
Keep out of reach of children.
Due to the nature of this product, we are unable to offer our usual 30-day, no-quibble returns policy, if you later change your mind, or otherwise decide to return the product through no fault of Firebox. Click here for more info.
Product Features:
Made using 6.4 million Scoville chilli extract
Delicious milk chocolate
Ingredients:
Sugar, cocoa butter, whole milk powder, cocoa mass, 6.4 million SHU chilli extract, emulsifier (soya lecithin), flavouring (natural vanilla).
All other spicy stuff at the moment is nothing compared to this... One tiny slab was the most painful thing I've ever eaten! It was brilliant though, I can't wait to get my friends to try it, I'm tempted to eat more.... Luke, South East Coast - 5th April 2013
Ate half a square and cried for about 30 minutes. What more is there to say? Previous reviewers were not lying - this really is 'offensively' hot. Rebecca, United Kingdom - 4th April 2013
Firebox says: We tried to warn you!
Gods, I just got some of this in the mystery box for my birthday, the other items in the box are NOTHING compared to this. One tiny slab was the most painful thing I've ever eaten! It was brilliant though, I can't wait to get my friends to try it, I'm tempted to eat more... Adam Nicol, Middlesbrough - 2nd March 2013
Firebox says: Do it Adam - test yourself, challenge your friends, regret every painfully hot moment.
Yup, I instantly regretted this chocolate. So did the other 7 lads who did it at the same time. We've done plenty of Naga challenges before but this was something else. Level 7 pain. And there's only 6 levels. Never known a party to instantly halt while everyone rushed to the kitchen / bathroom. Make sure you're stocked up on natural yoghurt. Ofc I intend to buy more... to share of course :). Gary Le Sueur, Poole - 8th February 2013
Friends got me this as a thank-you, it is the most vicious thing I have eaten (worse than the teaspoon of blair's ultra death sauce I once ate for a bet), this stuff will put you in hospital if you eat more than 3 squares-took it to work and they all thought I was mad!-going to make some chilli chocolate bullets for a game of chilli chocolate roulette-THIS STUFF IS BLOODY GREAT. Andy Grant, The Welsh Valleys - 31st January 2013
Well... well. . I don't think this should be legal.
I have never, ever tried anything so hot in my entire life. My tongue is in blisters, my lungs are burning and my eyes are streaming. My friend couldn't handle it and began to hurl and couldn't actually be sick because it burnt even more. Friendly word of warning. It is best to try just the one piece, if that, half a pack will render you near comatised. It has been an hour I can still hardly operate normally.
If you are thinking about this to test yourself, don't think, just do it. Putting this as a great achievement on my CV.
On a more positive note, my local shop probably won't close down now, as I gave him about four years wages in milk sales.
P. S Firebox, I absolutely love your emails, they make me laugh every time. Brill! Tom, - 18th January 2013
EST. 1998
