Old Fashioned Moustache Elixir Energy Drink

Those magnificent men in their flying machines, they go up tiddly-up-up, they go down tiddly-down-down. Of course, men of that era also had great big bushy moustaches, to keep their faces warm at high altitude and prevent birdstrike on the uvula. But how did they keep their generous lip-warmers looking so spiffy? Simple. They’d take frequent nips of the Old Fashioned Moustache Elixir Energy Drink.

Rather! Well, actually rather not. Because the follicle-stimulating properties of this fizzy formula are, sadly, complete poppycock. However, with lashings of caffeine, taurine, ginseng and guarana; and a can that looks straight out of an apothecary’s shop; it’ll be sure to put a smile on your face (if not a moustache) and a spring in your step. Indeed, with all these wing-giving properties you won’t even need a flying machine. Chugs away!