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EST. 1998
The Coolest Things You Can Buy

Project Utopia

Barbara Bach not included

Project Utopia

Barbara Bach not included

free UK delivery
Direct Despatch


Before we begin it’s worth pointing out that this product will set you back several hundred million, minimum. Still reading? Good. Now that we’ve got rid of all the rubbernecking paupers we can elaborate because Project Utopia deserves your full attention, unencumbered by thoughts of ogling millionaires; this baby is strictly for billionaires and beyond.

You see in order to showcase their astounding capabilities, our good friends at Yacht Island Design and BMT Nigel Gee have set about developing several concept proposals, the most bonkers of which is the breathtakingly awesome Project Utopia. No, this isn’t a joke.

Measuring 100m in length and breadth, and spanning over 11 luxed-out decks, there is enough room on Project Utopia to create an entire micro-nation. It’s ideal for ocean-going megalomaniacs bent on world domination. And you needn’t worry about puking on your Nehru jacket because this floating behemoth is designed for minimum motion, even in the most extreme sea conditions.

Each ‘leg’ supports a fully azimuthing (no idea, even after Googling) thruster, so Project Utopia can move between various locations at slow speeds. ‘You must’ve been seeing things Billy. Now eat your ice cream and shut up!’

A large central structure bisects the water’s surface, acting as a conduit for the mooring system, which houses a wet dock for access by smaller supply boats/British agents looking for trouble. There are also several helicopter pads so you can make your escape if your crew turns mutinous. ‘Oh really, 007!’

We could go on. So we will. A retractable canopy covers the uppermost deck and on the “13th Floor” there is an observatory with 360-degree views, at which point guests will be 65m above the water’s surface. ‘You know this organisation does not tolerate failure…’

Impressed? You won’t be. You’ll be utterly blown away because Project Utopia beggars belief. But we’ll have no talk of beggars round here, thank you very much. Lend us £100 million. No? Bon voyage then.

more info

Product Features:
  • Accommodates 70 crew and can cater for 16 guests
  • Maximum speed of 15 knots
  • Diesel electric propulsion
  • There are four major spaces which make up the external deck and communal areas: 'Casino Square', 'Loews Hotel', 'The Oasis', and 'The Grand Atrium'.
  • Two large tender garages to store all manner of launches, offshore power boats, jet skis etc
  • Dive dock and Submarine, deployed from one of the submerged hulls
  • Multi configurable sports court sized to championship tennis regulations also doubles as a Heli-Pad
  • Ample crew quarters including a gym and private sun terrace
  • Measures approximately 100m(Ø)

Customer Reviews

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Wow. I had a blast with this! It's simple to use, and very cheap. Not to mention possibly the most entertaining thing I've purchased all year. Me and my friend are going to move to the middle of the Atlantic Ocean tomorrow, and it's going to be a blast!
Trent Bridges, Texas - 22nd September 2013
Free Delivery? How can I refuse a bargain like that?
Bobby Davro, Currently: A Bn'B Off The M1 - 23rd June 2013
Is it compatible with iPhone 5?
GP Goodall, Nottingham - 1st June 2013
Firebox says: Yes however would need a lightening cable to make the connection!
Does it come with the submarine or do I need to buy that separately? It's the hidden extras that make things like this pricey.
Simon, Glasgow, Scotland - 3rd March 2013
Firebox says: I'm sure we could reach an agreement Simon, anyone with the capital to buy Project Utopia is a friend of ours!
I brought one for my friends birthday. They Liked it so I brought it. It is nice and I'm thinking of starting my own micro-nation. Oh yeah an my pal Bill Gates has one. We pretend to be pirates and fire water cannons at each others ship. I recommend it. It's cheap and value for money.
Dominic Brett, The Atlantic Ocean - 10th February 2013
I would like to express my concern at the quality of the workmanship of the utopia project. The designers completely overlooked any effective systems protecting against maverick british agents. This resulted in not complete failure and destruction of said property, but also killed my husband Karl. With that in mind I would like to claim a full refund-I appreciate that it may not fall within the distance selling guidelines. I am fully confident that a reputable organisation like yourself would be happy to come to an agreement. To sweeten the deal I would like to offer two submarines as a gesture of goodwill (slightly used). I look forward to your response.
K.Stromberg, Bahamas - 21st January 2013