Unofficial Royal Wedding Plates

Don’t you just love those crazy royals? When they’re not eating swan pies, wearing giant crowns or ennobling lollipop men, they like nothing better than throwing a good old knees up for us doting plebs. And this year there’s going to be a real humdinger when HRH Prince William marries Kate Middleton. So why not celebrate the royal nuptials with an Unofficial Royal Wedding Plate.

In no way endorsed by the Royal Family but beautifully crafted in bone china in Stoke-on-Trent, these stylish commemorative plates are a funky take on the conventional chavalanche of naff-awful tat everyone else is flogging. Put one on the wall and you’ll instantly mark yourself out as a royalist with a sense of humour or a republican with excellent taste. Either way they are far less likely to crop up in the church tombola circa 2013.

Each plate even comes in a presentation box and includes a display stand – well they’re far too good to eat your dinner off. Besides, that’s treason or something.

Choose from three eye-catching designs:

Thanks For The Free Day Off		Facebook Page		Wedding List

‘Thanks For The Free Day Off’ expresses the nation’s gratitude in a curt but succinct manner. It even makes reference to Wills and Kate’s ‘4 Day Bender’. Cheers!

‘Facebook Page’ is a commemorative plate for all you social network-obsessed royalists. With its digitally rendered happy couple and cheeky ‘Prince Charles, Camilla, HRH The Queen and 6000000 others like this’ message, it makes rival memorabilia look decidedly dated. A bit like the Royal Family.

‘Wedding List’ is an anarchic mash-up of old-school chintz and modern typography, detailing Miss M’s potential wedding list, from a toaster and dinner set to a new tiara and Oxfordshire. (Ironic as she’ll probably own the lot within the year).

Unavailable on the back pages of the Sunday supplements but in stock right here at Firebox Palace, Unofficial Royal Plates are set to sell out faster than a desperate duchess or even a royal trade envoy, so get ordering or we’ll lock you in the Tower. PS: Congratulations guys!