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EST. 1998
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Canned Unicorn Meat

A bit like chicken, only magic

Canned Unicorn Meat

A bit like chicken, only magic

In Stock


  •  Sample this highly rare and enchanted delicacy
  •  A little like chicken, only infused with magic and rainbows
  •  Canned for freshness
  •  Pre-cooked so you can enjoy this mythical meat hot or cold
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description

Have you ever wondered what unicorns taste like? Of course you have. But you’re unlikely to find out, even if you crack open this tin, because despite being called Canned Unicorn Meat, it contains nothing of the sort.

But before you hop back over the rainbow to scoff Turkish delight with the wood nymphs and seek out genuine enchanted tripe, allow us to explain. This spooftastic tin really does contain a unicorn. Okay, so it’s a cute little plush one that’s been dismembered for your twisted amusement, but who cares about that when some dimwit opens the cupboard and asks about the local availability of mythical meat.

The bottom of the tin is easily removable so you won’t need an opener or even a magical scythe. Just give it a tug and watch their gullible faces drop as bits of dead unicorn tumble out on the worktop. Don’t ask why, just embrace the magic and buy!

more info

Please Note:
  • This product is not edible, it's a stuffed unicorn in a can
  • No need for a can opener as the bottom of the tin is removable
Product Features:
  • Unicorn meat lowers your cholesterol
  • Perfect for sandwiches and party snacks, spread some sparkle
  • Tastes like Chicken only a bit more magical and sparkly
  • Magic horn is perfect source of calcium for young children and adults
  • None of these product features are true
Dimensions:
  • Can measures approximately 9.3cm(H) x 8cm(W) x 6.1cm(D)
  • Dismembered unicorn fits in can easily

Customer Reviews

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Excellent gift for a newly out of the closet nephew.
Mandy G, Scotland - 4th July 2014
In light of all the horse meat scandals... Can you confirm this is 100% unicorn meat.... Can't be lied to AGAIN!! X.
Lee B, Manchester - 17th March 2013
Firebox says: No lies here Lee, please rest assured that no horse DNA was found in this Canned Unicorn Meat. None! All our supplier's factories have the most stringent of quality control checks.
Typical, here I am tucking into my tin of delicious Unicorn, only to find out its actually 100% Minotaur... not a happy Goblin!
Kelly Hutchinson, Berkshire - 15th February 2013
YAY!!!! I GOT THIS FOR MY B-DAY FROM BANDIT. YAY!!!! THANK YOU BANDIT YAY!!! LOVE IT!!!! I HATE KILLING UNICORNS THATS MEAN GERARD!!! MIKEY WAY LOVES UNICORNS AND IM ****** READY!!!
Tuesday, Battery City - 9th October 2011
I'm a dumbass. I got the lid off...it's not empty! It's REALLY not empty....
Mike Furmedge, Liverpool - 30th September 2011

Mike Furmedge, Liverpool - 30th September 2011