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EST. 1998
Not For Everyone
1

Duck Separator

Quackers concept

Duck Separator

Quackers concept

Sorry, this product is not available.

April Fool Product 2010!

GOTCHA! Yep that's right, this product was part of our April Fool range for 2010. We apologise if you are disappointed... or just sitting there red-faced! You can see our other April Fool products here.

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description

Description

They're either kissing or being greedy!

Love ducks, hate greed? It sounds quackers but the ingenious Duck Separator has been developed to help all you park-based bread-chuckers feed your favourite ducks whilst excluding pushy, greedy ones. Getting the duck out has never been easier.

Simply aim the barrel pondwards, pop your chunk of bread in the Separator’s food chamber and pull the trigger. Ker-plop! When the duckies start swimming towards the floating bread all you do is pull the trigger again to open the telescopic hoops over your favourite quacker as it nears its soggy treat. Hey presto, an instant exclusion zone that allows your duck of choice to enjoy its breadfest in peace.

Description

Waddle all the other ducks think?

If you don’t fancy firing your bits of bread from the shooter you can always practice your aim by simply chucking them before ensnaring your preferred duck. The whole exercise is incredibly therapeutic, especially when the greedy ducks outside the separator start quacking in green-eyed fury. Ooh, you should see the looks on their beaks. Quack!

more info

Please Note:
  • Duck Separator comes with a sheet of stickers (eyes and beak holes) to be attached
  • Do not use this product to feed dogs due to choking hazards
  • Not suitable for use on swans
  • Do not use cake instead of bread. Jams and sticky sauces can clog up the pipe. If so, blow hard.
Instructions:
  • Fill the funnelled chamber with bread
  • Aim the barrel towards the desired duck and pull the trigger
  • The bread will now shoot into the ducks mouth and the surrounding area
  • Push the trigger again to release the 2 orange hoops towards the duck. This will now create a mini exclusion zone for other ducks
  • Push the button next to the handle to bring the 2 orange hoops back towards the Separator


Customer Reviews

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Dear Sir/Madam, It is with deep sadness and regret that I feel I must return your "Duck Seperator", following a disturbing incident this morning. I fear I may have stumbled upon a serious flaw in your product's design, which for most users, may never come to light. Imagine my family's delight when the item arrived on the morning of my daughter's birthday. We eagerly assembled the device, wrapped up warmly and headed out to the River Trent with joy in our hearts, Bovril in our flasks and a bag of out-of-date Warburton's clutched in our trembling hands. On arrival at the frosty riverbank, we were greeted by the usual quackling throng of water birds, feverishly squabbling for our attention. As it was my daughter's birthday, she was allowed to use the new feeder first. She took careful aim, targeting a young, disaffected duck with an injured wing that appeared to have been marginalised by its extended family, existing on meagre leftovers on the fringes of society. As the first shot of soggy wholemeal hit the icy waters, our young duck soon had company. My daughter skilfully deployed the orange "exclusion" hoop, allowing our sorry-looking duckling to enjoy his first good meal in peace. "Hurrah!", we cried, "thank you Firebox!". However, our exuberant Hi-5's were brought to a sudden and abrupt halt by the chilling series of events that were about to unfold. Whilst our town has a proud swan-related heritage, there is a small cult of outlaw swans that seem to rebel against the conventional swan image and use the Queen's protection to afford them diplomatic immunity to any repercussions of their anti-social behaviour. And so it was that 4 members of this clan appeared from their murky lair beneath the Ferry Bridge and descended upon our "protected" duck. The orange plastic walls turned from "Safe Exclusion Zone" into "Hellish Floating Prison" as the elegant, flexible necks of the evil swans loomed over the hapless mallard, their razor-sharp beaks gnashing and devouring anything in their grasp, in a frightening feeding frenzy. I covered my daughter's face from the carnage, but within seconds it was all over. The river was silent, except for the receding cackle of the murderous swans and the gentle lapping of the cold waves as I pulled the tattered remains of the hoop back to the bank. I would therefore advise any prospective purchasers to consider the use of this device very carefully and would strongly insist that you include a swan warning on all future packaging. Obviously, the refund I am requesting will never erase the shocking images of avian cannibalism embedded in my daughter's psyche, but it will go some way towards offsetting the cost of the McDonald's breakfast with double apple pies and McFlurries that helped to ease our pain.
Nigel Ghent, Burton-Upon-Trent - 1st April 2010
Firebox says: Please Note: Firebox cannot be held responsible for the actions of a minority of delinquent swans. Nature can be brutal. It's a lesson we all must learn.
Can someone remind me what the date is today please?
Elsie Dee, Brizzle - 1st April 2010
Firebox says: It's April 1st all day!
How would one dislodge a cat from the funnelled chamber, if for example they'd tried to use the item as a rudimentary pet-cannon? Hypothetically, that is. Although it is rather urgent.
James, Godmanchester - 1st April 2010
Firebox says: A bit of guy butter for lubrication and Tiddles the cat should shoot out of there as fast as she became imprisoned. Hypothetically.
Hmm does this also work on swans and flamingos?
Dave, Gloucester - 1st April 2010
Firebox says: It's size specific at the moment but variations are in the pipeline!
Wow this is great, now I can focus on that lowly duck, you know the one...who always looks a bit scabby and needs a good feed...boy oh boy he'll be a chubby duck in no time! :o).
Holly Travis, London - 1st April 2010
This is amazing, although a very specialist item, Firebox delivers again! Will there be a new version to address the cake issue?
Donald, Pond Lane - 1st April 2010
Firebox says: We're looking into it Don!