Salt and Pepper Bots

Despite the optimistic forecasts made by twentieth century futurologists, robots are still pretty rubbish. They can’t jumpstart starships, communicate with aliens or even help you pull up your pants in the morning. With this in mind, we’ve decided to shun modernity and celebrate the golden age of fictional robotics with Salt & Pepper Bots.

As you can see, these high quality comedy condiment dispensers look just like the kind of robots you might see chortling about mankind’s primitive potato mashing techniques or clunking around a 50s B-movie.

But unlike Robby and the Smash Martians, Salt & Pepper Bots are clockwork. Simply wind ‘em up and watch in wonder as they waddle towards your plate with their nosh-enhancing load. Pass the salt? No need.

A brilliant gift for seasoned (geddit?) sci-fi fans and aficionados of retro-ironic schlock, these cute little robots are guaranteed to deliver your salt or peeps perfectly every time. Well, when we say perfectly we mean they’ll shuffle around aimlessly until you pick them up and give them a shake. Like we said, robots are still pretty rubbish.

Imagine how much fun dindins will be with these mechanical marvels to hand. It’s like dining in an Ed Wood movie. You can pretend the ketchup bottle is a rocketship crammed with tomatoey fuel, exploding over an inhospitable mash planet inhabited by giant sausage creatures. If you want. You can even pop a fishbowl on your head and do that ridiculous fist-on-chest salute before winding up your robots. Referring to your mum as Commander Tharg is entirely optional.

Look, the point is Salt & Pepper Bots make other salt and pepper shakers seem about as interesting as…erm, salt and pepper shakers. So what are you waiting for, you pathetic Earthling? Hit the Buy button and start shaking your bot.