Hellebrities

Celebrities are rubbish. When they’re not busy falling out of clubs and limos, they’re monopolising the news with their pointless shenanigans and whinging about the price of fame. That’s why they need taking down a peg or three. Unfortunately ‘I’m a Celeb…’ can only humiliate around a dozen nincompoops a year, so author and self-proclaimed entrepreneurial genius Sheridan ‘Shed’ Simove has decided to help out with Hellebrities.

The world’s first celebrity-based card game, Hellebrities is fun for (almost) all the family. By sheer coincidence, it’s remarkably similar to Top Trumps, the globally famous game of one-upmanship. But instead of comparing wingspan, bhp and top speed, you compare things like overexposure, wealth and fashion mistakes. It’s just like a popularity contest for annoying celebs. In fact, it’s exactly like a popularity contest for annoying celebs. Brilliant!

Click to enlarge: But wait, there’s more: in order to soften the blow to the pampered prats in question (and avoid the wrath of litigious agents), the 36 featured celebs have been re-imagined and renamed in a pun-tastically satirical fashion. Who knows, your hand might include Leonardo De Capitated, David Peck'em (played by a chicken), Bad Pitts or even Britney Speared.

We won’t bother explaining the rules (if you don’t know how to play trump-style cards by now we’ll have to assume you’re a bona fide, detached-from-reality celeb) suffice to say playing Hellebrities beats comparing warships and dinosaurs hands down.

You wouldn’t believe the obstacles our good friend Shed has overcome to get this game on the market. You can even read about them in his hilarious book Ideas Man. Honestly, anyone would think he was trying to profit by ridiculing overpaid headline snatchers or something. Hang on...

More compelling than Jordan’s love life, funnier than Dean Gaffney’s bushtucker trial, as surreal as George Galloway’s cat impersonation and as intriguing as that rumour about Tom Cruise, Hellebrities is the ideal gift for anyone obsessed with celebrities. And that, dear punter, means you!