Sound Machine

Talk is cheap but it’s not always funny. Stupid noises, on the other hand, are always hilarious. But unless you can perform vocal gymnastics like the bloke off Police Academy they are not that easy to make. Enter the sublimely ridiculous Sound Machine.

This handheld electronic noisemaker is preloaded with 16 gloriously infantile sound effects, from cheers, boos and wolf whistles to farts, belches and gun shots. It’s destined to provide the soundtrack to your life. Indeed we’re about to hit its comedy punchline button at the end of this very sentence!
Yes, we know you couldn’t hear that but it summed up the situation beautifully. And that’s the idea because the Sound Machine contains a sound effect for every scenario: tightwad gets a round in (applause); thicko finally gets a joke (idea ping); bozo gets blanked in the pub (wrong answer); pal drops a bombshell (bomb dropping); vicar comes round for tea (fart). Well maybe not, but the possibilities are endless.

Classic Version		Horror Version		New: SCI-FI Version

A great gift for the childish joker with everything, the Sound Machine is pocket friendly, literally and metaphorically, and is set to punctuate your day at every juncture. You’ll wonder how you ever managed without an on-demand library of raspberries, ker-chings and drum rolls. If only George Dubya had one he’d never have got himself into such a pickle.

Whether you are using it in the pub, classroom or bank manager’s office, the Sound Machine is guaranteed to help you lose friends and alienate people faster than you can say ‘the one who smelt it dealt it.’ But who cares about that when you can produce an instant boinging noise whenever you fancy. *Applause*