Star Wars Force Trainer

Can you feel the Force? Go on, close your eyes and concentrate. Now visualise your X-wing starfighter rising out of a murky swamp as your stumpy green master looks on and…hang on a par sec; you haven’t got a starfighter. You’ve never even had a postcard from Dagobah. And that’s because Star Wars is made up and the Force is a load of old Bantha dung. Or is it?

Well thanks to the cape-billowingly impressive Star Wars Force Trainer you’ll soon find out. Utterly mind-blowing, this fully-licensed device allows would-be Skywalkers to control a Jedi training sphere with – get this – the power of thought. You know, sometimes we amaze even ourselves!

As you take instruction from Yoda, a special wireless headset utilises cutting-edge EEG sensor technology to read and interpret your brainwaves. Yes, really! Said brainwaves are then converted into energy which controls the training sphere in a transparent tower. The deeper your concentration and mental focus, the greater your ability to move the training sphere up and down in varying combinations. De Jabba nee wonna wonga!

It would be easy to litter the remaining paragraphs with hokey Star Wars quotes, so we will. After all, any product this impressive (most impressive!) deserves the full treatment. Indeed, your skills really will be complete as you progress from Padawan to Jedi Master, using the Force (or something similar) to advance through 15 levels of training. There’s even a Freeplay mode for show-offs.

A Jedi can feel the Force flowing through him, so the key is to let go of your feelings until your brainwaves build up and register on the sensor-laden headset. We find thinking of nothing helps. And that’s not easy when you’re surrounded by a guffawing collection of scum and villainy wearing brown dressing gowns – well you’ve got to set the scene, haven’t you?

A smart control panel displays your current training level, while the increasingly challenging sequences are enhanced by Star Wars sound effects and tips from Yoda. Help you he can, yes.

Still not convinced? We find your lack of faith disturbing, because the Star Wars Force Trainer is one of the most befuddling, engrossing, calming and addictive playthings in the galaxy. It IS the gift you’re looking for. So go about your business and hit the Buy Button. Otherwise your failure will be complete. And remember, the Force will be with you…sometimes.