The Ultimate Festival Kit

Festivals used to be all about warm beer, loud music, squelchy mud, random snogs, spaced-out hippies and gazillions of smelly fans. Oh yes, and more warm beer. Hold on…they still are. And that’s why you need the Ultimate Festival Survival Kit.

Brought to you by two ingenious festival veterans, this 100% cotton drawstring bag weighs in at only 845 grams, yet it contains everything you need to enjoy your summer festival of choice – and with more than 375 shindigs to choose from over the coming months, we’ll assume you’re going to at least one.

Rammed with 18 mini essentials, the Ultimate Festival Survival Kit is set to become your constant companion as you strut your stuff in a sea of writhing music fans. Or pass out comatose in your rain-battered tent.

There’s lip balm, a PVC poncho, pocket-size tissues, face wipes, a tube of SPF30 sunscreen, a powerful keychain torch, toilet seat covers, anti-bacterial hand gel, a travel toothbrush with paste, chewing gum, an emergency blanket, a mini first-aid kit, a glow in the dark whistle (handy for ravers stuck in a timewarp) and travel size shower gel and shampoo. Phew!

We’ll even throw in a couple of condoms for you to snigger at and blow up when you inevitably fail to pull, and two pairs of ear plugs to deaden the godawful racket generated by whichever band decides to suffer from ‘exhaustion’ on the day. They really have thought of everything. All you need is a ticket and you’re sorted.

Whether you’re feeling the love at Glasto, doing that silly devil sign at Download or looking for your mum at V Fest, this handy survival kit will deliver you from dry lips, bad breath, smelly armpits, burnt cheeks and much more. In fact the only thing it won’t do is make Pete Doherty’s set sound any good. And that’s where the aforementioned warm beer comes in. Cheers!