BBQ Branding Iron

Have you ever fancied branding your meat? Course you have. It’s worth it just to hear that strangely satisfying ‘phsstt’ sound. Sadly most branding irons are only capable of scorching pre-determined symbols onto burgers and steaks. Not so the flesh-searingly brilliant BBQ Branding Iron.

With fifty-two letters and eight blank spaces, this ingenious aluminium branding iron allows wannabe cowboys and cowgirls to customise their food with whatever message they fancy, from ‘Nice Rump’ to ‘Dead Meat’. Char!


Simply arrange the letters, lock ‘em in place and shove the iron in the barbie. Then when it’s nice and hot brand your message – phsstt! Use it on steaks, chops, chicken, burgers or even (gasp!) tofu. No lassoing required.

Thanks to two lines of text and a whole heap of letters, the possibilities are (almost) endless: ‘Happy Birthday’, ‘Road Kill’, ‘McTasty’, Eat Me’, ‘Vegans Suck’, ‘Crime Scene’, ‘Hot Stuff’, ‘RIP Daisy’, ‘What Diet’, ‘Medium Rare’, ‘Ouch’… and those are just the clean ones. Profanity-seared meat splattered with ketchup? What’s not to like!

Perfect for adding a personal touch to all kinds of nosh, the BBQ Branding Iron is set to become every barbecue fan’s favourite novelty utensil. You can even pretend you’re a genuine spur-twirling cowboy, branding steers out yonder for old man Smithers. If you want.

Speaking of cowboys, the good ol’ boys over at the Firebox Ranch reckon this ingenious gizmo is gonna fly off the shelves faster than you can say ‘medium rare’. So quit lollygagging around and hit the Buy button. Phsstt!