Pizza Boss 3000

Anyway you slice it, pizza is delicious. But it’s the actual slicing that is so often the problem. All that gooey mozzarella, pesky pepperoni and crusty dough is enough to test the finest cutting implement. Enter, with an incredibly manly strut, the Pizza Boss 3000. Fashioned to resemble a circular saw, this no-nonsense pizza cutter will slice through the sloppiest of Giuseppe with ease.

Built from engineering-grade plastic with a laser-etched stainless steel blade, the Boss 3000 will have Margheritas, Quattro Formaggis and even Sicilians trembling in fear as it glides through their doughy bases and sloppy toppings like…well, like a circular saw wielded by a hungry loon with a power tool fixation. Cripes! It’s even got a removable shield, so you can clean all that goo off the blade before ripping through another hapless Fiorentina.

Remove blade cover to clean:


More macho than a moustachioed supertanker filled with Tom Selleck’s sweat, this soon-to-be kitchen essential also makes light work of garlic bread, naans, pies, toasties and more. You can even torment your pizza by saying ‘Funny how?’ in a Tommy from Goodfellas way (the movie, not the frozen pizza company) before ploughing into your anchovy special. ‘Take it easy, I’m just breakin’ ya black olives.’

A brilliant gift for the take-away fan with everything, the Pizza Boss 3000 makes regular pizza cutters look totally wimpy. The only thing missing is the roar of the engine. And if you’re silly enough to buy a pizza cutter shaped like a circular saw, making daft noises should be a doddle. Rawrrrr!