Powdered Beer

Wouldn’t it be cool if someone invented a powder that turned regular tap water into beer? Yep, you’ve guessed it, they have. And take it from us, it’s absholutely marvelloush.

Completely revolutionary, Powdered Beer has been formulated by Munich-based research chemist, Hans Schattenhose. All hail Prof. Schattenhose! No really, because unlike most boffins this visionary egghead has put his mind to something the world actually wants: instant lager. All you do is empty a sachet into a glass of chilled water (tap or mineral) and give it a stir.

Before you can say ‘mine’s a pint’ the powder reacts with the water, fizzes up and dissolves completely, leaving you with a glass of refreshingly crisp, perfectly carbonated 5.2% amber nectar. It really is amazing. In tests, volunteers (ie: us) couldn’t distinguish it from the reassuringly expensive wallop they sell down the pub. Imagine taking a batch to a summer festival or picnic. Bulky cans? No thanks!

The science of Powdered Beer has been explained to us, but to be honest we were so busy pouring the stuff down our necks and dreaming of a future where powdered pork scratchings take over the universe, we didn’t catch much of it. It’s something to do with breakthrough technology that allows yeast to be freeze dried then forced out of suspension by water. But who cares about that when you can shove around ten pints in your pocket and create alcoholic alchemy wherever there’s a tap.


We think Powdered Beer is one of the greatest inventions of all time, up there with the flushing toilet, television and naked lady magazines. But don’t just take our word for it, get busy with the fizzy and prepare to quench your thirst like never before. Bottoms up!