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EST. 1998
Not For Everyone
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Sex Panther

Stings the nostrils…in a good way!

Sex Panther

Stings the nostrils…in a good way!

  •  60% of the time, it works every time
  •  Made with bits of real panther
  •  Illegal in nine countries
  •  It smells like desire (or a used diaper filled with Indian food)
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description

According to Anchorman’s Brian Fantana, Sex Panther Cologne is illegal in nine countries. It’s also made with bits of real panther* and 60% of the time, it works every time. We’re not sure if any of that is true but we do know this formidable, fictional-until-now fragrance is more macho than a tankard of sweat soup garnished with chest wigs and V8s. Better still, it’s available from your high-fiving, jockstrap-clad friends at Firebox.

Quite honestly, if you don’t get lucky wearing Sex Panther we can only assume you’ve got a face like a bucket of smashed crabs. Or something like that. Women will be reduced to slobbering heaps of desire once they get a whiff, so don’t even try wearing it if you’re not manly. A moustache helps too.

So what does Sex Panther actually smell of? Well despite the claims of Ron Burgundy’s colleagues, it doesn’t smell like a t**d covered in burnt hair or a used diaper filled with Indian food.

In a nutshell it smells like desire. And it’s really rather delightful. Imagine wearing a midnight black t-shirt with a wolf airbrushed on the front and a shark arm-wrestling a Sherman tank on the back. Well it’s like that but in cologne form.

Despite its potency, Sex Panther can be applied like regular fragrance but regular users (ie: us) recommend applying it by the handful to any exposed skin and then pouring a generous amount down the front of the pants*. After all, romance is the only sport that requires two balls. Rrrrr!

If you haven’t already twigged (durr, Earth calling Mr Gullible), Sex Panther is a rather tongue-in-cheek product. But it’s beautifully presented in a fabulously ill-judged retro bottle and it might just give you the confidence to strut around the office in true Anchorman style. So what are you waiting for? Whack that Buy button and let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr.

* Not really.

more info

Please Note:
  • Not tested on animals, and certainly no panthers were harmed in the making of this product.
  • Avoid spraying in eyes or on irritated or broken skin.
Dimensions:
  • 6.3cm(W) x 10.2cm(H) x 2.5cm(D)
  • 50mL / 1.7 fl. oz.

Customer Reviews

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This got me laid what can I say, best 29 quid ive ever spent.
Curtis Mayoh, London - 13th February 2014
Smells of desire ma lady... (or bigfoots dick!) same thing!
Mike Lowrider, UK - 20th April 2013
I love Lamp.
Brick, PleasureTown - 5th January 2013
Is it here yet?? I saw someone asked u on the 21st of November and u said it would be here the next say but it's still not up??
C, Ireland - 25th November 2012
Firebox says: Hello! We are expecting our next batch to arrive around mid-February 2013, keep checking back or sign up to our notification system :)
Come on guys...its been coming in the next few days, few weeks and next week for ages now. When is it finally coming? Will it be here in time for Xmas?
Brian Fantana, Whales Vagina - 21st November 2012
Firebox says: Hey Brian thanks for being so patient. Stock is arriving tomorrow! Ah... At Last. Sorry about the delay!
Does it smell of rich mahogony?
Howard, London - 20th November 2012
Firebox says: I've heard it smells of Old Spice, but I believe Ron Burgundy's apartment smells of rich mahogony