Much as we love today's hi-tech pretend weaponry, you can't beat a bit of medieval hardware. Just ask anyone who's ever played with the awesomely entertaining Petron Crossbow (once you've removed the suction dart from your backside).

Realistic in every way (apart from all that deadly pointy arrow business), this powerful crossbow makes a nifty addition to any home/office comedy arsenal. Simply load up a sucker dart, pull back the stringy thingy, aim and shoot. Making a complete Ted Nugent out of yourself has never been easier (non-redneck rockers get Googling).



Speaking of famous crossbow users, you could, if you were really immature, dress up as William Tell and attempt to shoot an apple off some willing sap's bonce. Of course we would never condone such behaviour *sound of whimpering office junior removed under legal advice* so we recommend using the target on the back of the box. Failing that, try hitting a few tin cans or paper cups. Don't, whatever you do, aim at anyone's face. If you're that wound up, just draw a piccy on a paper plate.

If you're looking at the Petron's bright yellow body and dismissing it as a toy, try this on for size: it is capable of shooting its lick 'em and stick 'em darts up to 30 feet, and at considerable speed. In fact it makes many a sucker-firing weapon look positively lame. No wonder the Magna Carta banned the use of crossbows as battlefield weapons.

Great fun for young and not so young warmongers, the Petron comes with three super safe darts that will stick to mirrors, windows, fridges and maybe even the boss's bald spot. So get ordering, and at our signal, unleash rubber. Doii-ing!