This interweb thingy is brilliant, isn't it? Work, on the other hand, is not. Unfortunately the internet is accessed via the very machine you're supposed to be using for work.
Get ready to launch... a spreadsheet.
And that's why virtually everyone who uses a computer at work spends most of the time looking over their shoulder. Indeed, at this very moment you're gaping at gadgets and gizmos when you should probably be studying annual reports or typing up the minutes from this morning's board meeting. And we wouldn't even begin to speculate where you were surfing prior to this. Shame on you!
Of course most work-shirkers choose to combat this highly annoying paradox by hammering frantically on their mouse when the boss walks by. But not us. Oh no, we simply hit the USB Panic Button and relax. Why? Because this ingenious comedy stealth device instantly opens a boring document to conceal our embarrassment (and all those incriminating windows). Brilliant!
Some boring documents.
The USB Panic Button looks just like one of those emergency buttons you see in the movies - you know, the ones that launch missiles, shut off power, eject seats from fighter jets and cause Daffy Duck to lose his beak and feathers. It's even got one of those flip-open perspex covers and is covered in yellow and black warning stripes. Perfect for adding a suitably CIA-esque touch to your desk.
As well as its own boring document, this USB-friendly device will also bring up any other image you fancy - from your company logo to a photo of your mom. The possibilities are endless. The USB Panic Button is an ideal gift for anyone who spends too much time looking at things they shouldn't (that'll be all of us) and it's perfect for easily distracted surfers who spend more time searching for holidays, bargains and rude pictures than they do searching for new clients. (Again, that'll be all of us). So don't panic, just hurry up and hit the Buy button. Abort! Abort!