This is what it says on the first page of the Nookii guidelines. "Nookii is a map of foreplay, a key to a door of possibilities on a multitude of sensual interactions. It works by suggestion, delivering diversity and humour. One of the key components of good sex is awareness and Nookii is a great way to enhance sensuality."
It sounds a little bit Lovers Guide, perhaps, but it's a million miles away from being crude or blatantly cheap; a clever move on the part of the two girls who invented this adults-only game. The issue with games of this kind is that they usually recommend being wasted, having a can of whipped cream handy and a party of baying onlookers to roar at the sight of your bare arse being whipped or drawn on. Instead, Nookii, is about two people switching off for a while and concentrating firmly on one another. And one another's bits.
Pick a card
All you do is roll two dice, set the timer according to your score and then carry out the instructions on either a Mmm card (quite saucy, pre 9pm watershed stuff), an Ooh card (make sure the curtains are closed, it's getting saucy) or an Aah card ('I think he's attempting re-entry, Sir'*). Stopping short of inviting the participants to actually consummate their union, Nookii nevertheless will steam up your glasses with some of its recommended tasks. A scarf - not a woolly one, silly - is provided for use with certain instructions. The trickiest thing is finding someone to play it with...
*Q to M at the end of Moonraker (1979)
For adults over 18 years only.
For two players only.
Gameplay time approximately 30 minutes.
Box - approximately 30cm (W) x 24.8cm (H) x 6.3cm (D)
90 Cards (6 packs).
2 Dice - to detemine the length of play for each card.
1 Timer - to be set for each card according to the number of minutes indicated by the total of both dice.
Scarf - the cards will say when and how to use the scarf.
'Do Not Disturb' Door Hanger - to ensure privacy during play.
Each player takes their 3 packs of cards and shuffles them separately.
Draw the top card from each pack - these 3 cards represent your hand for the game.
You should both have an Mmm, an Ooh and an Aah card, each of which contain the instructions for you to read and act out on your partner. Put the other cards back in the box.
Put your 3 cards face down in front of you. Do not read them until it is your turn.
The cards must be played in the following order: Mmm's, Ooh's and Aahs.
Throw both dice to determine who starts - whoever has the highest total reads their Mmm card first.
The winner must throw both dice again to determine the length of play for their first card.
Take a moment to read the card to yourself, getting the feel of the action.
Set the timer to the minutes rolled by the dice and read your card exactly as instructed. The " symbol means that you should read that section of the card out loud to your partner.
Ensure that you carry out all the instructions on the card to the word and within the time limit. Be sure to divide your time appropriately, so that all the actions get a fair share.
Remember! The object of the game is to enjoy the other player. Enjoy!