Crap Trumps

Along with Red Rover, Freeze Tag and that one where you pull your jacket over your head and pretend to be Batman, Top Trumps remains one of the greatest games ever to hit the playground.

In fact it's so good new editions are still being released today, almost 30 years after the world went nuts arguing over whose supercar had the most impressive horsepower. But why deal with unobtainable things like warships and dragsters when you can compare the attributes of shoddy, uninspiring garbage? Step forward Craptrumps.

Craptrumps is just like Top Trumps, only better. We mean worse. Actually we don't know what we mean because this particular set of cards focuses on 52 of the worst cars in history: from souped-up heaps (as favored by suburban youth) to hilariously misguided conceptual follies like the Sinclair C5. There are even a few unroadworthy rustbuckets such as the donkey-drawn truck and the OMFG (think about it), which is essentially a kid's pedal car.

We won't bother explaining the rules of Craptrumps (if you don't know them by now you really shouldn't be using this interweb thingy without supervision). Suffice to say you don't compare things like wingspan and bhp; you compare wiper speed, surface area rust, cost to achieve MOT and overall crap factor. Who'd have thought such non-aspirational jalopies could be so amusing?

Seriously tongue-in-cheek and funnier than a spoiler-clad Fiesta with go-faster stripes, Craptrumps are made from high quality cardstock and feature some side-splitting photos and deeply sarcastic comments. They really are a celebration of utter rubbish. Which isn't such a bad thing because unlike Lamborghinis and Harrier Jump Jets, most of us can relate to the heaps in Craptrumps. In fact we've decided that rolling in a junker is where it's at. So hit Buy and start dealing in total trash.

Craptrumps Crappy Christmas
To celebrate everything that's wrong with Christmas you can now play a festive version of Craptrumps. Totally bah humbug and deeply cynical ( yet hysterically funny ), the Crappy Christmas deck has players competing to see whether humoring relatives requires more effort than eating fruitcake, or if your 'broken uncle' is more embarrassing than finding yellow snow in your garden.