Lump Of Coal
'Tis the season to be stingy
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We've been given some rubbish Christmas presents in our time but this amusing little offering has got to be the worst. We mean the best. Actually we don't know what we mean because the Scrooge-tastically derisory Lump of Coal is unlike any other gift out there.
Deeply ironic, this genuine chunk of coal has been gift wrapped (well, there's some nice tissue paper round it) and placed in an extremely Christmassy presentation tin. And that's it. No special features, no hidden treats, no nothing. And why should there be, because this spectacularly miserly gift has been created for the sole purpose of presenting to people who don't deserve a sausage, let alone a lump of coal.
Utterly useless (unless you've got a real fire) the Lump of Coal is guaranteed to bring a smile to everyone's face - except the person opening it. Just imagine their disappointment: "Perfume? Jewellery? Oh... a lump of coal." Brilliant!
What's more, there's something wonderfully Dickensian about giving coal as a gift. And on the off-chance you experience an Ebenezer-esque epiphany you can always have a decent present on hand as back up.
The Lump of Coal really is one of the funniest but crummiest Christmas gifts we've seen in ages, and that includes the Power Rangers socks from Auntie Mabel and the scented coat hangers from Uncle Stan. So get ordering - 'tis the season to be stingy!
Mmmm... Carbon! |
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What's more, there's something wonderfully Dickensian about giving coal as a gift. And on the off-chance you experience an Ebenezer-esque epiphany you can always have a decent present on hand as back up.
Give it to someone who deserves it! |
More Info
Please note:
- Contains REAL lumps of coal. This is not a toy
- Do not eat or give to children - even if they've been really, REALLY naughty this year!
Videos
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Rating:
i got my brother the perfect present... a lump of coal
Colin Templeton, Glasgow - 5th Dec 2007
Video URL: http://www.firebox.com/video/1231
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Photos
 enlarge Michelle Brown, Leatherhead |
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Comments
Reviews and FAQs
Visitor Reviews...
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This product was very disappointing. The tin was beautiful, but the coal itself was pathetic. I actually had to go out and buy a bag of coal to replace the tiny slivers that actually came with it, and some crepe paper for decoration, to make it acceptable to give as a gift. I would not recommend this at all.Louise, GB - 7th January 2011
The tin's great but the lump of coal? Err, more like 3 shavings from a corner of a lump of coal. Still, at just under a fiver, it's not too bad! Will be getting my own lump of coal from the garage to put in though!Ciara, Herts - 21st December 2010
I'm surprised none of you mentioned the Scottish NYE tradition...
Hogmanay Traditions
The tradition of first footing requires that the first visitor of the New Year should be a tall, dark and handsome stranger, and come bearing a gift of coal, to bring good luck for the coming year. The requirement for dark hair, it is said, echoes a time when a blonde-haired stranger on one's doorstep meant a visit from Viking raiders, and spelled very bad luck indeed!
Shame the reviews of the contents are so bad - or I would have bought it for my Scottish relatives!Margaret Y, London - 20th December 2010
As per other reviews, the tin looks good, but quite disappointed with the content... smallest slithers of coal found inside. Firebox...with your normally great products, isn't it about time you looked into this?James, Birmingham - 20th November 2010
As with the other reviews, slightly disappointing. The tin itself is lovely - however the 'lump of coal' is actually tiny fragments (3?) wrapped individually in tissue - maybe a bit of supergluing to be done before Christmas time eh!!Sarah, Wales - 3rd November 2010
Agree with the other reviews, not very impressed with it at all. Am going to get some actual chunks of coal to put inside instead.Josh, London - 16th December 2009
This is not a lump of coal at all -it's a few tiny scraps of coal wrapped tightly in red tissue paper & lots of sellotape. Bit of a con! The tin is nice though - but buy your own coal to go in it!Henrietta, London - 8th December 2009
Bit dissapointed as it's more like fragments of coal rather than one solid lump.Derek, Nottingham - 2nd December 2009
I'm a bit disappointed with this. Opened up the tin and inside were 3 miniscule (and I cannot emphasise the miniscule part enough) bits of coal wrapped in tissue paper.... Whilst I know this is a joke gift, the tin is pretty big and it just looks pitiful when you open it.Jenni, Alexandria - 2nd December 2009
I think chunk is a little bit of an exaggeration, I have three specks of coal in mine. To be fair, they are individually wrapped specks and the tin is very nice so I'll just pop some sweets in it instead.Felicity, London - 30th November 2009
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Please note:
Following some customer complaints that the lumps of coal in this product are tiny, we have decided to discontinue it, hence the reduced price. Once our remaining stock is gone we will not be continuing with this line.