Following some customer complaints that the lumps of coal in this product are tiny, we have decided to discontinue it, hence the reduced price. Once our remaining stock is gone we will not be continuing with this line.
We've been given some rubbish Christmas presents in our time but this amusing little offering has got to be the worst. We mean the best. Actually we don't know what we mean because the Scrooge-tastically derisory Lump of Coal is unlike any other gift out there.
Deeply ironic, this genuine chunk of coal has been gift wrapped (well, there's some nice tissue paper round it) and placed in an extremely Christmassy presentation tin. And that's it. No special features, no hidden treats, no nothing. And why should there be, because this spectacularly miserly gift has been created for the sole purpose of presenting to people who don't deserve a sausage, let alone a lump of coal.
Utterly useless (unless you've got a real fire) the Lump of Coal is guaranteed to bring a smile to everyone's face - except the person opening it. Just imagine their disappointment: "Perfume? Jewellery? Oh... a lump of coal." Brilliant!
What's more, there's something wonderfully Dickensian about giving coal as a gift. And on the off-chance you experience an Ebenezer-esque epiphany you can always have a decent present on hand as back up.
Give it to someone who deserves it!
The Lump of Coal really is one of the funniest but crummiest Christmas gifts we've seen in ages, and that includes the Power Rangers socks from Auntie Mabel and the scented coat hangers from Uncle Stan. So get ordering - 'tis the season to be stingy!
Contains REAL lumps of coal. This is not a toy
Do not eat or give to children - even if they've been really, REALLY naughty this year!